Reason For The Season

Reasons for the season...

Current mood:contemplative

I am reposting this from a website I post at...it was a lot of typing, so I thought I would share here:

At a karaoke forum I haunt, a friend of mine posted the following:

MERRY CHRISTMAS VS HAPPY HOLIDAYS: Our Constitution states Freedom of Religion, NOT Freedom From Religion. I read somewhere that 90% of Americans believe in some form of God, regardless of their religion. Next year I am thinking of banning products from companies that only wish Happy Holidays and not Merry Christmas or Happy Christmas or some form of that. One store changed it's policy and started printing christmas and/or santa claus in all it's ads after the store stated that it would not because they did not want to offend anyone. The power of pursuasion using the all mighty greenbacks. What is your view point on this growing debate?

As I had strong opinions, I responded and figured I would move the topic here, for posterity, reflection and to hear the views of some of you who are not at that forum, LOL!

My reply:

I love ya, but I could not disagree with you more. Here is an opposing viewpoint from the view of a business owner.

1. Religion should not enter into the marketplace unless you deal with a religious demographic. When you specify your religion or alienate anothers religion, you cut down on potential customers.

2. You state 90% of people believe in some god...but not the same god. And all people who may believe in the same God do not use the same religion to do so. So where do you draw the line...do you boycott companies who do not recognize Christian Christmas or do you go as far as to say you only want to do business with Christians? Where does that leave the others in your demo or business relations...the Jews, the Chinese, The Muslims...the Hindus or any of the thousands of others who worship and are decent people and businessmen...who simply do not recognize "Christmas" or maybe even "Christ" himself. Are you judging them to say that they are wrong and only those who follow Christ are right? Again, that will alienate people.

3. What faith people chose to follow is personal and should not be used to market their wares.

4. Seasons Greetings is an appropriate greeting considering the growing # of people who do not celebrate Christmas yet do get involved in Holiday activities, Christmas parties or have a need to buy gifts in December. Jews do not celebrate christmas as a rule, but they spend a lot of money on gifts in December dont they? If I am JCPenney, I am not going to limit my marketing to Christmas.

5. It is Christian doctrine to affiliate with other Christians and to spread the gospel to Non Christians when possible. The zealots who start these boycott campaigns against innocent companies who try to be PC and play fair are just that...zealots...and they are the ones that give Christianity and all organized religion a bad rap.

6. Constitution: does provide freedom FROM religion specifically. If you remember that is why all the folks hauled ass here in the first place... Not being religious is an expression of your religious freedom. If we begin chastising those for their faith, we are right back where we started from, full circle.

7. And the biggest...do research on the history of Christmas and you will find that Christmas as we celebrate it has nothing to do with Christ or religion. It genesis have nothing to do with Christian faith and in fact is Pagan in origin. The true Christians actually banned the celebration and to make a long story short it has only been since the mid 1800s that we have begun our rituals similar to those we do today, and all of the rituals are contrived for the market place based on corporate marketing, and ideas from authors such as The Night Before Christmas, etc... The entire holiday and all of its icons are corporate, or old pagan rituals resurfaced.

So if anyone eschewing Christmas offends you as a Christian, do some research and see just how Christian the holiday really is in origin...and it is all so watered down now, it really does not matter.

What matters is whether or not you accept Jesus as your savior or not. And that is personal and not fodder for judgement.

His response:

Harry,
I attempted to state in the clearest terms in my original message, but left a couple of things out. I do have jewish friends, I wish them Happy Chunachah (sp), my christians friends, Merry Christmas. I believe that Muslims celebrate their Holy month in November into December and I am basing that on when the onslaught of the Taliban started and when it started, but that is for a different discussion. Let me attempt to retort your previosu message.

1. I do understand your point of view on losing potential customer due to specifying one religion over another or singling one out. These are the same companies who do not mind losing the potential customers who they are alienating by not even showing a Santa Claus as they have in previous years in their ads. Case in Point: Coke did not run their commercials stating that Santa Cans or Trucks are coming.

2. I would like to boycott companies who totally eliminate all religious or "Santa" greetings by the company. I do not judge other people based on their religious beliefs or lack thereof. I do not need to know if they are religious or practice a religion, that is not my business. Once again, I am not out to alienate anybody, but think of all the businesses that loss addition funds because of NO religious references. ie santa.

3. Your right. What faith people choose to follow is personal and I do not need to know> If they make it an issue, then yes I would know, but I will not ask them.

4. If someone does not believe in a christmas, but celebrate this important holiday, then they should not be hypocrites. If you do not believe in christmas, then you should not celebrate this holiday with gifts. This is should not a pick and choose, type of holiday. Jews do not celebrate christmas, they celebrate Chunakah. There is also Quanzaa, but don't just jump into the holiday shopping dash and celebrate this holiday if you do not believe in this holiday. JC Peny could also market for the other holidays that I listed plus the others that I did not list.

5. I am christian but do not speak about my religion unless I know where the other party stands. I do not speak about two things in public, religion and politics. I must know where the other person/party stands on the topics before I will get into these topics. So sorry, but I do not consider myself a zealot in any manner.

6. The conststution states Freedom of Religion, plus there is a seperation of Church and State. No government body shall endorse a specific religion. ( that is the jist of the statements.) We hauled our asses here because we were forces to follow one religion and we did not have the freedom of religion, just this religion. If one is not religious then yes that is their freedom and they have that right.

7. I realise that the genesis of the holiday was supposed to be in the spring and was changed around quite a bit, but I celebrate the spirit of this holiday and what this holiday represents to me, the birth of my saviour. I am not asking anyone else to believe what I believe in. You say this holiday is watered down, and I say it is commercialized.

It is because of these PC lawyers and others who are out to make a name for themselves, that they have taken Under God out of the pledge of Allegience. These are the same people who want to take In Gode we Trust off of all federal currency. Now, I ask you Harry, when do we as Americans take a stand and say enough is enough. If 90% of American are religious, when do their voices get heard over the 10% who want no references to any god anywhere?

My reply:

Plat, you are going in a couple of different directions on some paths that dont reach the same destination. Here are a few random comments while reading your post...

First, Santa is not in any way a religious icon and has nothing to do with the celebration of the birth of the Lord. Santa Claus is actually a bastardized pronunciation of a European legend. Santa Claus is actually just the mispronounced version. He is also the conglomeration of many characters world wide. Do you know where the Americanized version of Santas appearance was created? Coca Cola. The celebration of Christmas using Santa Claus and gifts is not becoming commercial, it always has been...that is what it was developed to be. Santa Claus, trees, stockings, gifts...all have nothing to do with the Christian celebration of Christ's birth.

Second, the spirit of the season is different for each person...some revel in religious belief and celebrate Jesus birth, others simply reflect on family and home, others use it as a time to give to others and show charity, or others celebrate based on their individual customs and practices.

A company who serves all of these people is actually being more serving by saying "Happy Holidays" or "Seasons Greetings". These salutations not only encompass Christmas, but all the other celebrations under one umbrella. For a corporation to merely push Christmas is not only alienating to those who do not celebrate, but also not as good for business.

By saying you would boycott companies who ignore "Santa" or religious connotations of the holiday, you are persecuting the company for not believing or celebrating Christmas. That is your right to do that, but it is their right and all of our rights NOT TO CELEBRATE christmas or NOT to follow a faith.

I repeat, freedom of religion encompasses freedom from religion. We all have the right to worship or celebrate without interference, and those who choose not to worship or celebrate should get the same freedoms.

As to the hypocrisy of celebrating a holiday you do not believe in, I agree, BUT examine what the person is celebrating. Athiests can celebrate Christmas because Christmas as we celebrate it in America is not about Jesus. WHat makes it about Jesus is the belief that Jesus is your saviour, the praise to him and the things you do in his honor. You do not give gifts in his honor...you do not put trees up or hang stockings or drape your house in lights or put inflatable snowmen on your roof in HIS honor. These are not religious acts or symbols...especially Santa.

Zealots are not necessarily bad people...it just means that they embrace their beliefs with ZEAL. Many Christians are not offended by the use of Seasons Greetings, because it does indirectly address Christmas. It is the zealous christians who take offence that the word Christmas was replaced, and rather than accept that some do not share the same beliefs as them, they label the offenders as WRONG and initiate boycotts or letter campaigns until the parties change their ways and return to the Christian way of thinking. That is just wrong, and again, that is not fair to the company who choses to be fair to all.

No government shall endorse a religion means that we are all free to choose any religion or no religion. And religion has no place in marketing a secular business....and santa is not a religious icon.

The holiday IS watered down and commercialized. And the fact that someone is offended religiously that Santa does not appear shows me that by example. Kids today have no idea what the symbolism of Christian Christmas is...they just know Jesus and presents are the reason for the season...but cant tell you why trees are put up, or stockings or who this Santa guy is and why we worship HIM in December.

You said "but I celebrate the spirit of this holiday and what this holiday represents to me, the birth of my saviour. I am not asking anyone else to believe what I believe in..." but you contradict that statement. You are not asking anyone else to believe what you believe, you merely are advocating a boycott of those who do not share your beliefs. Those are contradictory statements.

To be rational, one would get irate if someone bashed their religion, or boycotted them for it, but be tolerant of others who do not share it.

I am sure all of the Shintoists in China who made your Christmas decorations have some in their house, LOL! But they will take the money.

You ask "Now, I ask you Harry, when do we as Americans take a stand and say enough is enough. If 90% of American are religious, when do their voices get heard over the 10% who want no references to any god anywhere?"

My answer....1st, I have made many religious arguments over the years at the forum, but I challenge you to find anywhere I have posted my belief. Why? Because, like free speech people say, I may not agree with what you say but I will defend your right to say it. I am in the minority that believe in religious tolerance...I am tolerant of anyones religion and will never say anyones religion is wrong. Most people think their religion is the only correct one and spend their time correcting the rest of the world.

Americans have been saying enough is enough as long as there have been Americans...that is why we came to America. We flee persecution and strove for diversity in thought and freedom in speech. What you are looking for is a turnaround in that goal. Think out of the box Plat...if 90% of people believe in God, you are assuming they believe in the same god. What if my God is different than yours? Am I silly to praise Ganesh, the boy with the elepant head? And you can laugh at that belief while claiming the baby of a virgin arose from death after 3 days? Or dispute Buddah? Or the multitudes of other deitys praised in the US??

Suppose Coke put out a special can for the Wiccans in October before they put out the Santa can in December. How tolerant would you feel? Suppose your city put up pentagrams on the light poles in October? Hey, the Pagans have the right to celebrate too, right??

But it is the commercialized version of Xmas we have adopted...and as soon as we leave Jesus out of the picture, we offend the Christians...at the cost of offending everyone else...and the majority of the population of THE WORLD is not Christian. There are a lot of other contenders...so do we give them all the same chance that we are asking for Christ at Christmas, or do we just remain silently tolerant??

So I guess references to God are OK as long as it is the right god....and not to mention how many different avenues there are to give that praise....SOOooooomany religions...how do we please them all??? With tolerance. Not boycotts.

Goals For The New Year

Goals For The New Year

Not a big fan of the word "resolution". To resolve to do something seems so finite, and a prelude to failure. Rather, at years end, I examine what I want to do in the next year and that is my goal. Goals can be unachieved without a feeling of failure, as long as some headway is made towards them. Here are a few of my goals.

1. To become better acquainted with those around me. To be better with learning and remembering names of those I see often, who may not be directly in my inner circle. To introduce myself to those I see often yet never speak to.

2. To remain steadfast in my plan to eliminate my medical debt.

3. To work harder on my physical well being. I need to start working on the areas of injury from my accident to get a little more normal...a little more therapy at home.

4. To be more aware of my metabolism changes and eat healthier, and exercise more...more walking and bike riding. I have not been very physical during my recuperation and have been eating like crap, and drinking a lot, which has added a bit of girth to my frame that I am not happy about. Gonna get that tone back this year if I have my way.

5. Gonna dramatically reduce my drinking, and drink more sensibly when I do. Beer sure helped numb the discomfort. But beer is probably responsible for the previous issue. Not quitting drinking, just making better choices and cutting down on volume.

6. To try to make my surroundings more comfortable for me, and take better advantage of those surroundings.

7. To try to take a little more time to smell the roses.

Take a Fag To Lunch Day

Take A Fag To Lunch Day?

Current mood:quixotic

I observed a few things about human nature this week, and it gave me cause and pause to reflect, and I thought I would jot a few observations here.

First, I will say, as an American, as advanced as we are socially, or that we think we are, we really are a repressed society. For all of our claims of freedom and freedoms of speech and what have you, compared to other civilized societies we are eons behind the times.

The censorships of nudity in public and broadcast, the negative stigmas of sexual conduct instilled by censorship and religion have all conspired to make the most natural things taboo in our society, and that is probably what contributes to messing up a lot of people in the head.

When you go to other countries, where nudity is accepted, nudity becomes no big thing, and accepted. When you are a young kid, the sight of bare breasts is an enormous coup. The more you see...the less of a thrill it becomes, and the stigma of taboo diminishes exponentially. Go spend 3 days at Mardi Gras. When you get there all you can do is stare at tits, tits, tits, but by the second day...ehhh...not so much. And that is just after one day or 2 of conditioning. Profanity...same thing, taboo, yet if it were not censored, it would become no big thing. Humans want what is kept from us. Very Pavlovian.

The impetus of my post is 2 fold...first, at one of my shows, I have a pretty large lesbian following. Not in your face, but when you see the "handsome" gals you know whats what. Two of the ladies were sharing a dance...and this is not a rare occurance. At my shows it is not unusual for 2 straight gals to dance...its all good, but this was obviously a lesbian couple who were involved. They were not kissing or behaving intimately, merely dancing. A group of guys at the bar in their 20s were looking on wide eyed and pointing and staring and really making a spectacle of the whole event. The dancers were not aware...but it made me think...how sheltered are these guys that in the year 2005 and being as old as they are that they still tittilated at the sight of lesbians in public? It made me think that I am probably lucky that I have been a little more immersed in gay culture than the average person, so it is no big deal to me. I have been in retail, and in the flower business, so my exposure to gays has been steady since I was 15.

Secondly...Brokeback Mountain. A movie being released that takes place in the 60s and explores a loving relationship between two men. It is the media darling of the talk circuit right now...the buzz du jour. It is amazing to hear the callers speak in homophobic terms about how they could never see this movie, and making comments that would appear that there is some responsibilty to be sodomized to see this movie. IT IS JUST A MOVIE, and it involves gay characters. Get over it...reality is, some people are gay...and why, in the year 2005 is this still shocking?

People...if you are getting hung up on what the person standing next to you is doing in the bedroom, youre priorities are skewed. Know people on the terms of what type of person they are, not on the basis of their gender or what gender they prefer. You will find your life enriched by persons you would not know otherwise. And in reality, gay, straight or any combo, if you REALLY knew what your neighbors were doing, or wishing to be doing, you would not be able to sleep at night, LOL!

I am straight, but personally my life is rife with role models from my youth who happened to be gay. Their gayness never got in the way of their ability to teach me lifes lessons. I also have many platonic friends who happen to be women. I am very close with many women whom I never have and never will sleep with, or desire in that manner. So why do guys have no problem mingling with a woman, yet feel that if a gay man approaches them it is going to involve sex? Do I fear that if I am alone with a woman I am going to have to have sex? No. And in relationships that involve mere friendship, why does the bedroom have to be a consideration? It does not. When it does, that is inappropriate, and when it does, then you address it. The person who offers an unwanted advance and continues after being spurned is wrong no matter what their affiliation.

Which brings me to this...IMMERSION. Big word...meaning to become immersed in something is to understand it more and not fear it. If all of a sudden nudity were accepted, it would become a non issue...but it is taboo so all of a sudden those who crave it are perverts. The gays are out there...always have been always will be. Try immersing yourself in a bit of the culture to understand it so that it is not so alien. Why are so many people afraid of gays? Is it a fear or is it social scorn...religious conviction..? What is the reason for your ire? Take a fag to lunch...get to know them without bringing up sex acts. Understand that they are just like you and me, separated only by their gender preference, and the culture that may go along with that. Understand that you have nothing to fear, and you cant be forced to be attracted to something you are not...so dont be afraid of being turned unless that is what you are secretly looking for anyway. Dont be uncomfortable watching a love story just because the two leads happen to be male.

My girlfriend is a fag hag from way back as well...and she has gay members of her family, and her family is religious and yet very accepting of them. It is easy for us to see the fine points in people without their sexual preference being an issue. Maybe it is time for all of society to get past that as well. You like what you are programmed to like...and if you are not programmed to be gay, you wont be. I am a big fan of the women...never consciously made that decision, just what puts the old lead in the pencil. I cant blame a woman for the same thing, LOL! I had been accused in the past of being on the other team (especially when they hear about being a flower broker, LOL) but I dont necessarily see that as an INSULT, more of a misunderstanding. If a gay man pays me a compliment or drops a fishing line, I will accept the compliment as flattery and correct them on my preference, without the desire to either harm them or f*** them, LOL! Same as I would from a woman... It is the year 2005 folks, come...evolve with me...

Take a fag to lunch.

Give It Away Now

Give it away now...

Current mood:pleased

Humming that Chili peppers song...LOL! THAT should be my Christmas Carol because that is what the season evokes...giving. Not out of necessity or obligation...sometimes it just feels good to give.

I dont have much spirit...even less this year for a lot of reasons. I have a hard time getting the warm and fuzzies. So yesterday I stepped to the plate to do something I wanted to do, not what I was obligated to do.

I wanted to get a bike for a needy child. I stopped by one of the Salvation Army trees and took off a tag for an 11year old boy who needed a bike. Got him a nice bmx style bike. Gonna drop it off on my way to lunch today.

I am not bragging, my point is, to encourage each of you to commit a random act of giving this week and each week up to Christmas with no expectations of reward or merit. I will bet you will find more spirit than you thought. That might be worth the price of a bike to me.

Ladies and Gentlemen...Elvis is Dead

Ladies and Gentlemen...Elvis is Dead

Current mood:contemplative

So I am at work the other night, and a customer...one that does not participate much, but makes the rounds, asks me to sing a request. He requested a good 'ol Elvis song. I oblige him, so I look thru my titles to see what Elvis songs I have that I could do...looking for something out of the box and not done to death.

As I am scanning over my page and a half of Elvis songs, I realize that out of ALL the titles I have, only a handful are really done regularly and worn out. Many have never been sung at all. And I am pondering his body of work, and I realize that Elvis probably never actually wrote a song. Elvis was a mere performer. Of course, his performances were legendary and he had a trademark look and sound and style, so you can give him kudos for that.

BUT...should his body of work be held up to proclaim him as the King? When will we dethrone him? Have not or will not others come along and exceed his impact on the music world? Havent others shaken the world more than Elvis, without the recognition?

Elvis was the worlds greatest Karaoke singer.

But having felt all that, I picked a song and did it up for my customer. He thanked me, and asked me to do another. This got me ever so slightly bent, so I politely declined. My reason to him was that there are 2 other karaoke hosts within a few miles who make their living as Elvis impersonators, and stake their claim as to how wonderful they are doing Elvis songs. I did not want to do multiple Elvis songs any more than the Elvis KJs want to sing the songs that I do. I am far more versatile and will choose just about any group once and try it. I dont pigeonhole genres or bands or eras...on any given night I will do anything from the Beatles, Bee Gees, Zeppelin, Tool, System of A Down, Marvin Gaye, Al Green and on and on with no rhyme or reason. But I digress...

Elvis was a great performer, but does that fact allow us to overlook his bad points? He was a drug addict, he was a pedophile, he was unfaithful. But, he was good to his mama, and man, the guy could sing huh?

So it just strikes me as peculiar, that a man can be a great performer and be reviled by so many willing to overlook the realities, yet there are others who have contributed far more, created more and been better humans that are overlooked. Yes, he became larger than life. He has also become a caricature of himself. I just have a hard time getting my head wrapped around the concept that so many people celebrate him as the greatest ever...and that karaoke hosts dress up like him all over the world, and that men in their 60s and 70s still wear his hairstyle, yet all he has really contributed is his performance. He has no body of work that he has created...just his performances. His image has become a marketing bonanza...his estate is probably worth more now than when he died from licensing arrangements. And dont say nuthin bad about the king. In the south he is as revered as Jesus H. Christ hisself.

F'in ponderous. Elvis was a great singer...and testament to his great abilities is how many people choose to imitate him...because it is easy perhaps? Lets see the troops of Roy Orbison singers come out...they would kick the Elvis singers asses, LOL! I would take Roy over Elvis any day as the king of EARLY rock. Wrote his own stuff, an octave range unsurpassed in rock...

I wont tell anyone what to believe...just speaking my mind. If I am wrong, I am welcoming that debate.

Thankyewvermuch. Harryoke has left the building.

Pay It Forward...NOW!,

Pay It Forward...NOW!,

Current mood:angry

I hate doctors...and I hate the bureaucracy involved in medical payments, and insurance, and all the crap that goes along with it.

If anyone has ever been in the hospital, you can relate to my rant...especially if you had no insurance.

For those who have not known me very long or dont know me, I was involved in a tremendous accident on Sept 24, 2004 on the way home from work. I got my van spun out backwards, airborne, barrel rolled mid air and hit two trees while midair, bending the van in half, and in the process knocking me out, busting my head and face open, slicing my arm open, breaking 2 vertebrae in my neck and causing nerve damage that made my right arm practically useless. To say I have come a long way since then is an understatement... I am aware of how lucky I was and how amazing my recovery was, but that is the subject of another blog another day.

Now...I am bitching about the handling of the paying of the bills.

I had car insurance and a very minor health insurance policy. These did not make much of a dent in the bill at all. I am finding myself alone responsible for the balance. If you are very poor or very rich, you are better off than being very middle class, which is what I am. I earn too much to cry hardship, and I am not rich enough to say "it's only money". (we are talking about a lot of money...more than I paid for my house.)

It would have been easy to declare bankruptcy or have my lawyer discharge them in other ways, but I am taking the high road and taking responsibility for my debt. This decision is one I will come to regret.

Another issue is how we are billed. I went to one hospital and I get separate bills from each person who touched me. Would it not make sense to put all these bills under one umbrella to make it easier to get paid? That would make too much sense so it will never happen.

What would happen if you ordered a pizza, and got a bill from the box company, the drivers insurance company, the driver, the pepperoni company, the cheese company etc... all seperately? This is what medical billing is like.

Anyway...skipping over a lot of technical mumbo jumbo, I have been speaking to a rep at the hospital in regard to getting this straightened out and after determining all my other avenues were exhausted, started looking for ways to pay this debt.

They were unwilling to dicker to a lower price for a cash settlement...they said if any insurance money had been received that they would not adjust the price. That is because they do more business with the insurance companies than they do with the patients, so it is not in their interest to kiss a patients ass. It isnt like you make a conscious decision on what hospital to go to in an emergency, so customer service is not necessary.

So, to make a long story short, I pull an equity line on my house...redo my mortgage and this month made arrangements to have them paid in full. The checks already have gone out.

This stressed me out, because I cant wait to see the statement next month for my new mortgage payment. But, I felt good about doing the right thing and having the albatross around my neck laying on the ground behind me. I also protected my assets, credit and all that...

I felt good until this morning when the Sheriff left after leaving me a summons where they have already initiated a lawsuit against me. This tweaks my knobs because I have been constantly in contact with the same useless person who has been saying everything is cool...and he has not said a word about turning me over to attorneys, etc... I stuck to my word and did what I said I would do. At least if he would have threatened me or gave me a heads up this was coming I would have been prepared.

No brainer, If this goes to court I will win...and I will not be paying any court fees or anything like that...I did my part, but the dicking keeps coming, doesnt it?

What have I learned?

Be insured. Consult attorneys and listen to them. F**k hospital bureaucracy. Keep records.

A survey I actually answered, LOL!

A survey I actually answered, LOL!

Current mood:amused

This survey was interesting, and got one of the biggest responses of messages of anything I have posted here lately, so I figured I would save it in a blog, LOL!

1. My dad once: Heard a vibration on his truck and realized it was the chrome tip on the tailpipe, so he reached down to tighten it while it was still hot....

2. Never in my life: will I accept the metric system. LOL!

3. The one person who can drive me nuts, but then can always manage to make me smile: My dogs...

4. High School is/was: a period of time that I did not use to its full potential...If I knew then what I know now...

6. My first real love was: Wasted on someone who did not deserve it...I should blog that story someday.

7. If I were to get married right now my bridesmaids/groomsmen
would be: Shocked to hear about my marriage.

8. I talk to my ex: with no reservations...good terms with everyone.

9. When I was 5: I realized there was life outside of my home.

10. Last Christmas I: had a knife pulled on me and was attacked and had to call the sheriffs.

11. When I turn my head left i see: that my neck is stiff...and some CD boxes for my DJ biz.

12. When I turn my head right: window to my backyard...freshly mowed and rain falling.

13. The craziest Family Event was: not held yet

14. If I was a character on Friends I'd be: either Chandler, or the weird guy who lives upstairs...or probably ugly naked guy.

15. By this time next year: My medical debt will be much less.

16. My favorite day is: a good day.

17. I have a hard time understanding: advanced math calculations.

18. One time at: band camp...oh...one time at Finnegans, a girl in the back booth took her top off and was holding her boobs up for my approval while I was singing onstage, and I was the only one who saw...

19. You know I "like" you if: I engage you in meaningful conversation. Or if you find me naked in the same room...

20. If I won an award, the first person(people) I'd thank would be: it would depend on the award and who was responsible for helping my achievement.

21. Take my advice: Start investing as early as possible. Invest in real estate. Get a lot while you are young. Dont waste investment money on bling. Drive an old car and own 3 houses.

22. My ideal breakfast is: Whiting fillets, stewed tomatoes over grits, 2 runny eggs, toast coffee and juice. Soul food style... (...and if ya like fish and grits and all that pimp shit let me hear somebody say oh yeah-er.)

23. If you visit my hometown: You will find spring break to be a very small aspect of it.

24. If you spend the night at my house: You will find Foster to be affectionate.

25. I'd stop my wedding if: I was planning one.

26. The world could do without: Sports. LOL!

27. I'd rather Have: a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

28. My favorite blonde is: naturally blonde.

29. Paper clips are more useful than: my nipples.

30. If I do anything well, it is: rationalizing...giving advice.

31. And by the way: your zipper is down. Made ya look.

32. The last time I laughed: In the car...listening to Opie and Anthony.

33. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are: wow...that is too surreal.

34. I shouldn't be: on the PC so much.

35. Once, at a bar: I openly suggested in the restroom, jokingly that I would give $20 to anyone willing to eat vomit out of the urinal that was full of it...I went into the stall to do my thing and heard a collective gasp...went to leave and someone grabbed me and pulled me back in and wanted the money...I said no way, as I did not see a thing...so he dragged me to the urinal and ate it again...I went to the cashier and put a $20 tab for him on my card...never again...LOL! When I tell this story in person, the details are much funnier, but it is the grossest thing I have experienced ever.

36. Last night: I slept hard.

37. There's this girl I know who: had AIDS, but slept around a lot anyway.

38. A better name for me would be: Zdecislavistczenivflav

39. When I go back to school I'll: wonder what I am doing there at my age.

40. Next time I go to church: it will be for a wedding or a funeral.

Heres Your Sign...

Heeere's your sign....sigh...

Current mood:confused

#1. At the laundromat this morning, it was VERY crowded. I was sitting on the far side of the facility reading my paper, and my clothes were in the dryer on the opposite side of the facility. Someone walked over and said "Excuse me, your dryer door popped open.". While I appreciated their concern, I find it hard to believe it would not have been easier to simple close the door, but that is just me...

#2. I completely mowed my lawn, trimmed and took all my brush out last night and burned it in a bonfire. Today, one of the neighbor kids stopped by to ask if I needed my lawn mowed. I said no, I had done it yesterday...then he asked if he could haul off any brush to the curb...alrighty then.

How is YOUR Carma...?

How is YOUR Carma...?

Current mood:frustrated

Well...about my car situation...I sold my Moms car, and I have sold my van 3 times...first time the guy backed out because he had no parking space, second guy went to his mom to borrow the money and she gave him thousands of dollars to get a newer truck, and he refrained from letting me know...now a painter gave me a deposit on it and has not found the time to come by and pick it up...so it sits in my yard. Who would have thought it would be so hard to sell a cheap van??

So my buddy calls me and says he has a van for me...Dodge Caravan. It is too small for my needs, but a fantastic deal, so I turn Lori on to it. Now I have inherited her car...nothing wrong with it really other than the air not working, but winter is here anyway... It is not registered so I have it parked in the carport... I pulled it out to take some things out of it and when I went to pull it back in the battery died. Oh well, this happens, but I am not happy about having to repair a car I am not even driving...but I am resigned to having to do it and replacing a battery is soooo easy.

Did someone say replacing a battery was easy? Who is the prick at GM who decided that side posts were so much better than the top posts that EVERYONE else in the world uses? I could kick his ass right now.

The charger would not clamp on well for me to try to charge the battery (but the battery was too far gone anyway...) and you cant jump start it by yourself (tits on the connectors are too small for my cables). I decided to quickly replace the battery.

Well, you have to remove a brace to get to the battery...then there was a bolt holding the battery at the base of the battery...I put a wrench on it and the head immediately broke off. I tried then to pull the battery out but there is not enough slack in the battery cables. I removed the negative cable, and went to remove the positive but the nut grip was stripped so I could not get a wrench on it. Tried vice grips to no avail. Went and bought a bolt-out from Sears for $26 and it wont fit it.

I cant cut the terminal off because there may not be enough cable to reach the battery after installing a new one. So the car is stuck in the carport, unable to jump or charge...for a fu****g 15 cent bolt.

So I see an acquaintance has had an accident and his car is shot...I tell him "Today is your lucky day...you need a car, I have one!" He comes to the house and loves the car and I give him a sweet price on it with one caveat...

He has to replace the battery.

He says it is a great deal and he will be back to pick it up.

Havent heard from him since. The car is still there. The van is still there.

I will probably try drilling out the bolt or chiseling it off or breaking the battery case...I mean, what is a little acid gonna do?

It is the little things in life that have the power to please or aggravate you to the n'th degree, LOL!

Yeah, yeah, yeah...I know...

Yeah, yeah, yeah...I know...

Current mood:aggravated

Yeah, I have a big dog. I walk both my dogs once or twice a day...Tiny off the leash because she listens, Foster on the leash because he is still a bit buck wild.

Foster is 100+ pounds and all muscle. He pulls me down the street as we are leaving the house because he is so excited, but he calms down later and is less strenuous.

Yet, everyone I meet between point a and point b seems compelled to mention that he is taking ME for a walk.

"Ha ha... whos walking who?" "Foster taking you for your walk again?" "Wheres Foster taking you?" "I see he is walking you again..."

Ha ha ha...I f****** get it. AHHHHHHHHHHH!

There I feel a little better.

We have citrus trees at the end of the street and Foster has taken to enjoying tangerines. I pick em off the tree and give him one to chew as we make our way around. He seems to enjoy the juice. It is really funny to see him with an orange or tangerine in his mouth walking...and the muffler effect it has when he barks.

All for now...just a vent.

My Mother's Escort Service

My Mother's Escort Service

Sold my Mom's car today. Bit of a bittersweet parting... I always had a joke with my Mom that if she was dying, our last trip would be to the Lincoln dealership to get a sweet Mark 8, with term life coverage, fully financed so that when she died I would get a great car in the inheritance. We never got around to that, but I did inherit a 93 Ford Escort. My dad and mom bought the car brand new while they were both alive, healthy and working...so the car has been there thru all the drama since.

Since my mom has been ill, I have been driving it on my days off...it is a good little workhorse of a car...not much to look at or brag about, but a good alternative on the days off, and close to 30 mpg. Pretty much head out of town carefree.

One of my last outings with it months ago resulted in either a blown head gasket or a cracked or warped head. The death knell sounded for the steed. Repairs would be close to the value of the car, so sat she did. This month it was time to sh** or get off the pot...so I put it on the side of the road for sale in as is condition. The tow truck is coming to pick it up.

I will miss the car, and the memory of my mom and dad driving it, but lets face it, you invest in fixing and Escort, it is still an Escort. I guess you cant really polish a turd...it may shine but it is still a turd, LOL!

Now all I have to do is sell my 84 Dodge Ram conversion van and I will officially be in the market for a car. I think my neighbor is buying the van from me this weekend, so we will see.

Halloween Parties 2005

Halloween Parties 2005

Current mood:accomplished

The halloween parties this year were a welcome distraction! I did the party for George at the Net. His parties always rock because he has the best friends and clientele, he "get"s what I do, and I "get" what he wants. We never even have to talk...he tells me a date and event, I show up, rock, then tell him what he owes me, LOL! I miss working there regularly. I used to be there every Thursday before they changed formats and integrated the fish market.

They had some of the greatest costumes there. Great response to the dance music, so I was feeling the love. Only very few downsides. But the one downside was actually an upside...George had my back on my opinion on an altercation. Another KJ was there...he is known for his impersonation of a popular mutton chopped performer of days gone by. He selected a song and I put him in the rotation. I dont run a strict rotation at private parties, especially if the dancers are ready and have been waiting. I generally let everyone sing a song, dance, then go back into rotation. Also, whoever is paying me is boss...what they say goes. The restaurant has a girl working there who flat out KICKS ASS as a singer. I got her up to sing and George insisted on a two-fer...as did everyone else in the bar! Finished the rotation, planned a half hour of dance then a costume contest then back to the singers. The mom of the Elvis guy asked me to let Elvis sing again. I told her that he had a turn in and it would be awhile. She got bent with me so I explained how and why I do things and she called BS on me because I let the employee sing 2 in a row. I told her that was Georges decision and what he says goes because it is his party. She went and complained to George...and he came to me (while the dance floor was PACKED and pumpin) and said Elvis was upset and was leaving the building. My response: See ya! Bye. George smiled, and I said, George if you say the word, I will clear the floor to let him sing, but do you want to do that? If he wants to wait his turn he can do 5 songs in a row for all I care, but he will have to wait, and if he cant, dont let the door hit on the way out. I also noted it was probably not him upset, but his family and entourage.

Hmm...when they called his name as a finalist for the costume contest, he was missing in action. Might have been something I said.

Overall, a fantastic night...

Did Mothers last night, and we had an over 30 singer rotation and lots of great costumes. I did not dress up, so when asked, I either said I was Mondo dressed as Harry, I was a left handed Jehovahs Witness, or as evidenced by a pic on myspace, I put my arm inside my shirt and said I was the drummer from DefLeppard...my favorite. Napoleon Dynamite was a popular theme this year. The most curious was this guy Todd who came as Jim Carreys character in Mask...green face, yellow suit etc. He actually used latex paint for the green. Painted his whole head. How in the hell is that gonna wash out from his eye and ear crevices, LOL?? Glad to not be him today. He was shedding at the end of the night and left plenty of mess. At one point he sang and got paint on my mic. At least he won $125 first place prize money to buy a scrub brush, LOL!

By 12 it quieted down and those who stayed got to sing 2 or 3 songs that last hour. I tried some new material and it went over really well. I opened with If You Wanna Get To Heaven by Ozark Mt Daredevils...went well. Pulled myself out because it was sooo busy, then when it slowed down I did Phil Collins - I Dont Care Anymore. Great song, but SC slaughtered the keyboards in it. Very clumsy. I also did Sober by Tool which got an amazing response...absolutely floored me the reaction I got to that. I am curious now to see if that was merely a moment in time or if that tune is a keeper. Closed it out with Where Did You Sleep by Nirvana which also got a great reaction.

People were feeling the love and getting into it, and that feeds me to do a better job. Marge did a great version of Hey Jude and we got the ENTIRE bar singing along so loud at the end that I just turned the amp down and went acapella for a verse or 2, LOL!

At the end of the night, by buddy Gene was stuck there drunk...he is in his 80s and failing. I asked him to let me drive him home, then I needed to find a driver to bring me back. Gene lives close so it would only take 5 minutes.

HA! Gene has an Allante. A very technical car to operate if you are not familiar with it. The drivers door would not open, so I got in the passengers side and slid over...started the car, could not find the lights. My driver had his lights shining in my eyes so I was blinded. I could not open the door to tell him...the windows had dew on them and I could not find the wipers. Keep in mind, I pride myself on being able to jump in any car and drive it, so this was humbling to me. Got the lights on and there was a bulb out so I found the hi beams, then my buddy brought me a flashlight so I could find the controls. Got the car to Genes and none of the doors would open for me. Gene could not open them either, so I rolled down the window and exited the Allante Dukes of Hazzard Style. Last I saw was Gene in the driveway at 2:00, home safe, with the car window down, LOL!

And how was your night, LOL??

Glitter Blog

All that glitters...

Current mood:aggravated

I HATE GLITTER! There I said it...I scream it .... III HAAAATE GLITTTTEEERRRR!

Now I am not opposed to glittery things, or shiny things, LOL! I hate powdery uncontrollable sprinkles of glitter.

It is very nice in its milieu. If you are using glitter in crafts I am sure it looks great, and if you are using body glitter I am sure it makes you feel pretty. It is the residual fallout the PISSES ME OFF!

This probably goes back to my days in the Flower Shop. The designer would sprinkle glitter on certain decorations or arrangements, and I would deliver them. The delivery van would get glitter residue inside, which of course would get on me and I always had this residue of pixie dust when looking in the mirror...on my clothes. I would go out at night and see glitter on me...or in my house that I had tracked in. I would bitch about it and the designer, Peter, thought it was funny so he threw glitter on me. I was irate. I was leaving for Orlando after work, and had to go home and change and get all this out of my hair. To the day I sold my old house, I was still finding glitter in the bathroom.

My favorite glitter story...working at the flower warehouse, everyone was aware of my aversion to glitter. We sold these branches covered in glitter and the boxes would always have a ton of loose glitter in them. Someone (the owner of the company perhaps?) thought it would be funny to get my office chair and put glitter all over the seat while I was out with a customer in the warehouse, then it would be there when I returned for the 10 am sales briefing. I came in for the meeting and saw the glitter and everyone expected to see my reaction. I merely kept a straight face, opened the door to the parking lot and propped it open, picked up my chair and heaved it into the lot, closed the door, grabbed the chair from the desk behind me, and acted like nothing happened. No one ever did that again, LOL!

So I put on clothes and go out and someone with body glitter gives me a hug and I am covered. Or someone decides I need pixie dust at a party and my equipment is covered in glitter. How many pieces of glitter does it take to make a CD player fail? Not many! I tell Loris daughters that no guy likes body glitter, they just tolerate it to get laid. Glitter is the best birth control device for me...well right up there with Windsong or Charlie...but fragrance is another topic for another day.

I feel sorry for the person who has to clean all the glitter at the bars. I just kept slogging around in it last night thinking "How much of this is going to turn up on me at the wedding I am doing this Saddy"?

Think before glittering. Friends, dont let friends wear glitter. And keep it away from me. It could be my Achilles Heel... And dont try me to be funny...I have a violent side, LOL!

Burn Baby Burn

Burn Baby Burn - This Ones For Diane

Current mood:satisfied

If there is anything more cathartic than a bonfire, I dont know what it would be. Take all of the things you dont need, dont want or hate and burn them...watch them burn. Feed your inner pyro. You will feel better for it.

I live in an area where I can burn. I learned instead of packaging yard waste and sending it to the dump, to burn it. There is a catharsis in seeing all these heaps of unwanted rubbish and greenery turn to powdery ash. There is reward in the enjoyment of the flames and the process of consumption. When I go for the long burn, I add in all my shreddable documents and anything else I can find...medical bills, mortgage docs, whatever...what you drop in will cease to exist. That can be good karma.

I burn in my backyard, but recently created a pit in the front yard on the stump and root ball of a hurricane felled oak. I had to clear debris away from the house and burn all the tree trimmings, vines and other growth. The stump has been smouldering for 3 days, adding a oak incense to the atmosphere. I got a bit of it to burn away, so I am looking forward to the next bonfire to see how much I can clear out.

My neighbor just got a huge construction dumpster to haul his stuff away...he is not a big burn guy, but he did come down and enjoy my fire Saturday. If I never had to leave the house, I would love to soak the root ball in kerosene, stack all his waste on top and ignite it and let go to work. Hmmm...if I do , I will get pictures. LOL!

C'mon baby light my fire....

On to the next adventure...

On to the next adventure...

Current mood:relieved

Did a wedding yesterday...packed up and was on the road home, an hour away, at 10 pm. Checked my messages and got a message from a friend in Ft Lauderdale (4 hrs away) who was trying to contact a mutual friend in Orlando. He said that he, and others in Ft Lauderdale had been attempting to contact this person and had not heard anything in a couple of weeks, either by email or phone. This piqued my curiousity as I had not gotten a response back to my leaving a message about my Mom. I tried calling his #s to no avail, so I called my friend in Lauderdale back and let him know I would check things out.

No way was I gonna be able to sleep, so I zipped to my house and picked up my Girlfriend, then drove 45 minutes to O-town. The house was dark and quiet and tight as a drum. I was hoping for a conspicuous sign, or a way to break in. I expected the kitties to greet me at the vertical blinds as they always do, but no sign of them. Shined the flashlight to see what I could, then knocked on the neighbors door.

1st neighbor had seen nothing, but pointed me in the direction of a neighbor of more observant nature. I went to that house and told the man who I was and why I was there, and he proceeded to quiz me to see how well I really knew my friend. I appreciated that...he had my buddies back, LOL! He told me he thought that he had gone back to Ft Lauderdale with his Mom. This was strange, since no one in FtLauderdale had heard from him.

Turns out, some medication he was on was not working for him, and he got sick and his mom and sis put him in a hospital in Lauderdale and he was back at his Moms and doing fine, but he had neglected to contact anyone. It was a relief to talk to him and share my adventure with him and get the scoop on what happened.

I had all of these scenarios in my head last night...finding a corpse, or calling the police to report him missing...see if he was in a hospital or jail, LOL! Anything is possible in my circle. Glad things were positive this time around.

So Much Going On...

So much going on!

Current mood:indescribable

Well, life does like to dole it out! Doing relatively well despite the current situations...

A day before my Mom passed, I was heading to work and my g/f called, out of breath. I thought maybe she had been in an accident, but she was just calling to tell me a huge part of the tree next door had crashed into my property, taking out the cable, phone and internet connections, and that the electricity was on at the time, but would be suspended as the power pole had broken in half as well. I told her who to call to get it handled and went on with my show. Could have been worse...

I love irony...so the ironic thing was...my car needs a repair and I have not been driving it, so it was parked in front of the house. That day, I got tired of looking at the debris from the golden raintree laying on top of it, so I drove it up the street to dust it off, then parked it next door on a whim. The whim paid off since the car did not get hit by the tree.

My fence did not fare so well...2 panels of my stockade fence are smashed, as well as another portion of my picket fence (which is succumbing to all manner of storms...there are only 2 panels left, LOL!)

I spent the next morning with my chainsaw (best birthday gift EVER) clearing my yard and driveway. The owner of the tree volunteered to replace my fence, so I am happy about that anyway.

Tuesday put things in perspective. Been dealing with that as a priority...trying to be the rock. Maintaining my show schedule...trying to stay in routine. My friends are the best...unbelievably supportive.

I made the arrangements with the cremation folks...they were great to work with. They come to the house and conduct the business so you are not burdened...which led to an interesting story...

My dogs are very protective. They bark when people or animals go by. They hear a knock and always alert. When Tiny sees all is well, she is cool, but Foster DEMANDS attention and seeks a new play partner. Even my brother who visits often is not exempt from this.

Don from the cremation place comes to the door and knocks and my house is silent. I invite him in and he sits on the couch...and the dogs come in with little fanfare. Tiny sniffs him then lays down. Foster crows a few times, demands a little attention the cools out and lays down. I have to leave the room for a moment and I come back and Foster is laying next to where Don is sitting on the couch. Those who know my dogs would find this strange...so strange I had to call Lori as soon as Don left to share. He must have some really good vibes. Made me feel a lot better about having him handle everything.

I felt bad for my Sister in Miami, as she did not get to see Mom before Don took care of her. She (mom) was taken to a refrigerated area to be held until all the paperwork is cleared for cremation. She will probably be cremated on Monday. We will have the ashes Tuesday or Wednesday.

I went to the cemetary today, but they were closed. I have to make arrangements to put my Moms ashes with my dads. I looked around to see who their neighbors were...(it is a crypt) and one of my closest friends parents are directly across from mine. I have to call him today to let him know that.

I am doing ok, but I think I have a virus or something...got some flu-like symptoms last night, and woke up shiverring in the middle of the night...and not processing food too well right now.

I am thinking of planning a trip to San Diego to visit my uncle, the last surviving member of my family of that generation. Once all is done and said...I may do that...as well as visit some friends on the left coast. Just depends on what happens here at home. Talked to him on the phone...he is one of my favorite relatives, and he is not getting any younger. He is now too old to travel, so I think it is incumbent on me to go see him...I think I would regret it if I didnt.

Guess that is enough for now...just feels good to type it out...cathartic. Tomorrow is another day...lots to do...and I am doing a wedding this weekend, gotta prepare for that.

Be well.

Florence Smith July 1, 1923 - Oct 11, 2005

Florence Smith July 1, 1923 - Oct 11, 2005

Current mood:melancholy

Well, Mom finally decided she had had enough. Good for her.

My Mom was not a whiner or complainer. She was a simple person of simple means. She never had a sick day in her life and if she did, she did not advertise it. She was the breadwinner for the household due to my fathers "disability". She was the person who kept the place running on a shoestring budget while placing all of our needs above hers. I never appreciated that until I got older and had my own responsibilities. That gave me a new respect for my Mom.

After my Dad passed on about 8 years ago, my Mom got a new lease on life. My Mom lived pretty much under my Dad's thumb...old school marriage vow bs. There were times when I wondered why she put up with it but she did. Sometimes I respect her for that, other times I resent her for not having a spine. It all works out in the end though, dont it?

My Mom was not rich or educated or worldly by any means. She worked in service positions most of her life and worked hard. She retired from the school board...she was the lunchlady for many years. When we came to Florida around 1968, I remember her working as a waitress at the drug store luncheonette at Eckerd Drugs. Then she scored the good job with benefits at the school board...working in various lunchrooms until landing a permanent spot at Ormond Junior High. School work being seasonal, she worked the concession stands at the old Jai Alai fronton...eventually increasing her responsibilties to working in the office there for the foodservice franchise which contracted to the parimutual industry. Both jobs were seasonal, but there were the overlap periods where she would have to leave for work at 6:30 am, get home 3 ish and get ready to go do the night job til midnight, then start all over again. But I never remember being hungry. She split seasons between Jai Alai and the Dog Track and eventually landed full time at the Dog Track after her retirement from the school board. She worked for Daytona Beach Kennel Club until her sickness caused her to leave.

I was the youngest...a change of life baby that crept up on her in her 42nd year. My sisters have kids that are older than me. Being the youngest has its trials. I was picked on a lot by other family members, and my Mom always supported me, even if it were in secret. She sensed my responsibilty and always gave me enough rope to hang myself, whereas my father discouraged me and told me how bad I was and discouraged me from taking any responsibilty. I think history has proven who was more correct in their assessments.

My mothers mobile home was in need of repair and the house next to mine became available, so I bought the house and moved my Mom in. She got to enjoy it for 6 months before her health got bad. She has never gotten recovered from her issues, and my brother and I have spent the last several years taking care of her welfare and needs. She may have been somewhat helpless, but was not suffering much once home.

As the hospital stays got more frequent, so did her suffering. She was getting to the point where her return home seemed unlikely unless she came to move in full time. We were resigning ourselves to have her admitted into the rehab facility permanently. This was what were were initiating before this last incident.

Each day seemed to be getting worse. After the last hospital visit the doctor suggested turning her over to hospice. This was a good move as the facility and the staff made sure she was as comfortable as possible at the end.

They called me to let me know she was having a bad day...then they called right back to let me know she was gone. I got there right afterwards and sat with her for about an hour and a half. I had my calls forwarded to my cell and when it would ring, I would answer quickly so as not to wake her. My brother got there after I left and he shared a similar feeling...he said he bumped the bed and looked to make sure he didnt wake her, LOL! I guess that is the conditioning of being in that environment for so long.

The home was good about letting her stay in her bed until my sister could make it over from Tampa. My sister in Miami was not as fortunate though...they could not hold her there that long as nature was doing what it does to people who are not living.

That was a tough day...but I bucked up and made it to work. Thought that would be better, to be out in public...

Today I completed all of the arrangements for her cremation and tightened up a few other loose ends. There is so much to do. Just feeling a little catharsis in typing what is on my mind.

After all is done and dusted, I want to try to get away for awhile to decompress. It has been a long road.

My Mother is very beloved by her immediate family and friends. She will be missed. I will miss her. She always had my back...I am proud to have had the opportunity to get hers.

Love ya ma.

Florence leaves a brother in San Diego, a daughter in Miami, a daughter in Tampa, a son in Astatula, 2 sons in Deland, a step daughter in Las Vegas, a step daughter in Minneapolis and many grandkids and great grandkids.

Follow Up to Follow Up

Follow up to follow up, LOL!

Was at work last night...there is a liquor store attached to the club but it was closed. A customer came up to get a package, but realized the store was closed...it was Donnie, the guy who gave me a hard time. I gave a polite wave and walked out into the parking lot.

He shook my hand and apologized...said he was so trashed he could not remember anything. He said his friends told him what he did and he felt bad. He said it was nothing personal, and that having me work in that town was special, and that if I were not a presence there, things would not be the same.

He seemed sincere...he came in and got his package from the bartender and handed me a beer on the way out...so I suppose we are all good.

Karma being the bitch she can be, he had a black eye...apparantly he got his ass kicked for reasons unknown to him, but he said karmically it was probably for being a dick to me. I will own that and accept his apology.

Karaoke Contests Suck

Current mood:discontent

I am not a big fan of karaoke contests. Karaoke, historically and philosophically, is not a competitive event. Karaoke is about the need to perform, to be accepted on that public level...about taking the chance to step onstage regardless of talent level and make the effort and receive acceptance regardless of talent. It is the effort that is lauded, and perhaps for 3 minutes and 49 seconds someone can forget their troubles.

My philosophy at my shows is to show a good time in a non competitive environment. Everyone is a winner, and everyone leaves feeling good about themselves.

That is not possible at a contest. Only the winners feel great, and there are always sore losers or those who feel something unfair occurred, and they, or someone else, was somehow cheated or robbed.

Most contests ARE unfair. You are at the whimsy of judges who may or may not be biased...you could bring the talent and maybe be chastised for your color, your gender, your sexual proclivity or preference, or maybe just for being unkown in a room full of regulars.

I resist any involvement in contests for that reason....

So...I find myself hosting a contest every Tuesday since April. Twenty five weeks later, we concluded it last night, and I aim to not see it revived.

We narrowed the field to 25 finalists...of which 13 attended to compete for a trip for 2 to the Atlantic Resort in the Bahamas. There were a lot of great singers, but some DEFINITE standouts.

After all was done and said, and the results were in, the winners were announced and the prizes were awarded...and immediately the complaints started.

Before the first place winner was even off the stage, 2 complaints in person and I saw one of the singers leaving angry with 2 other people. And when they go to the next show and complain about the contest, whose name will they use...the bar? No...it will be that goddamn Harryoke whose contest was rigged or unfair.

I dont need that karma...

I got on the mic and announced loudly that I do not pick the judges, or make the rules or score the talent, I am just the host and if there are any complaints or hard feelings to address them to the bar management and not me. I even put that in writing on the rule sheet as I want to distance myself from the negativity as much as possible.

But, whenever you send someone home as a loser, you are breeding negativity. I dont like losers at my show, they are all winners to me.

Just doing the math, the contest is actually detracting from my show. On Tuesdays I run a 25-30 singer rotation, and then they put a contest in which runs off some of my regular non competing singers. Most of the people competing would be there anyway, so it is not a dollar draw to the bar. Then the bar has to pony up for the cost of prizes...and they get badwill from the losers going elsewhere bad mouthing the show and their bar.

Lose lose situation in my eyes...and this is what I will be discussing with the management next week.

Whore that I am though, and loyal soldier, if they say to start a new contest, I will...but everyone will know how I feel in my heart about them.

Follow up to "It Only Takes One" :Update

Follow up to "It Only Takes One" :Update

Current mood:amused

The girl who was singing onstage the night of the incident I wrote about just sent me an email. Here is an excerpt:

OH! You're not gonna believe this!! Guess who I saw in Jacksonville?? That STUPID DRUNK from the other night!! He and his "talented" band, ****** **** ****, played at this Battle of the Bands thing. I only ended up there because my friends, Severed Existence, were entered in it and even though I HATE that kind of music, they ARE my friends so I figured I'd show my support! Anyway, I had JUST walked in the building when who do you think is the FIRST person I see?? He comes up to me and says, "Hey, remember me??" My first response was, "OH, PLEASE NO!! Don't tell me that YOUR band is playing tonight!!" Unfortunately they were and he apologized to me for being such a jerk. That's ok. I STILL thought he was a JERK and I made sure that he KNEW that I still thought that, too. He gave me "permission" to grab his mic if I wanted to. Referring to his obnoxious growling, I politely said, "No thanks, man,........I ate a coughdrop on the way here." He didn't think that was very funny so he walked away!! What made it even funnier is that MY friends were the band that WON! They won a 1000-hr recording session with the studio which was holding the contest!!

Just made me smile this morning, LOL! Have a great day, and hold your mic tight!

My Pony is getting away!

My Pony is getting away!

Current mood:complacent

Been seeing the coolest car parked in front of my house for a couple of days...a '70 Maverick. It looks like it was obviously owned by an elderly couple, probably a man since it has a CB, LOL! It is not in the condition many old people let their 70s cars get into (painting over rust, bad paint and touch ups...). This car may have been painted, but if so the paint job is easily 20 years or more old...still hardly any rust. All panels straight...no dents. Lotsa old man touches...a love bug screen neatly trimmed to the grill, trailer hitch, magnetic antenna for the CB. It has obviously been parked as it has a light coat of the lovely green patina of mildew so prevalent here in the south.

My curiousity got the best of me, because I could love this car. It is in the best condition you could imagine a daily driving 70 to be in. Indeed, it was part of an estate sale and they have a sale pending...for $700. My heart sank...if only I had known sooner. This is the car I would have wanted back in high school...when it would have been 11 years old. I would have loved to had this car in this condition THEN, let alone 25 years later.

I told them if the sale goes thru I would be right there, but I am not holding my breath...but I have to walk past the durn thing several times a day, and it is right outside of my picture window, LOL! My pony got away!!

Oh well... I got some pics to remember it by. Holler if you want to see one.

Dog Days- Just talking crap

Dog Days- Just talking crap

Current mood:amused

I generally spend my day in the company of my 2 dogs. One is a 10 year old female Border Collie - German Shepard Mix (Tiny) and one is a 2 year old Blue Leopard Catahoula (Foster).

Tiny came with the ready made family years ago, and she is the Lulu to my Sidney Poitier (To Sir With Love). She was buck wild, but now I dont even leash her when we walk. We generally have an understanding.

Foster was found roaming at the Mall as a puppy. He is now a big 100+ pound puppy who loves to cuddle and be cuddled. He is an absolute trip, and watching him (and Tiny) develop has been an amazing study on how breeds can know to do things instinctively without being told.

What is making me chuckle today is Foster. First thing I do every day is take the dogs for a walk. They have there particular places where they enjoy evacuating the old bowels. Foster has decided he likes to move his bowels a little creatively at times, which makes me crack up. He will find a low shrub or plant to straddle and leave his manifest on top of a branch or in the middle of the bush. He is prone to back into a stand of fern or weeds and drop his work, always completing with swishing his paws on the grass with a satisfied grin on his face.

Stupidly, this always makes me crack up...I must get pictures of this action one day, LOL!!

Think I will put some pics up of them in my pic area today.

Today is sucking...(warning-downer post)

Today is sucking...(warning-downer post)

Current mood:melancholy

Tough day today...one of those milestones in life days that you look back on for the rest of yours.

My Mom was one of the healthiest people I ever knew...never a sick day in her life...my Dad on the other hand was a hypochondriac heart patient who had been sick all his life and wasn't afraid to let you know it.

The house next door to me went up for sale a few years ago so I bought it and moved my Mom in. Six months later she had an episode of congestive heart failure and hasnt had a great day since. Good days and bad days..but all within the confines of her illness from which she has never recovered. My brother and I have spent the last couple years taking care of all of her needs; feeding her, looking out for her finances, household chores, hygiene...you name it...only break we get is when she is rehospitalized.

As her condition gets worse, it is tough to watch her suffer. That is the hardest part...to feel her pain and be able to do nothing about it.

She has been in a rehab for the last couple of weeks and is not doing real well...we definitely are seeing a declining condition. Her mental state is not so sharp, although she does have moments of lucidity at times.

I got home from work last night at 3am and a message was on the phone that she was back in the hospital again to be treated for dehydration. They could not find a vein to put an IV in at the rehab...

Today is the crossroads...she is having some other issues...renal failure, liver failure...and on and on... It is time to either treat her aggressively to prolong her agony or find an alternative.

So, in an hour, I am going over to sign her up for hospice with my brother. Then we get to call the family around the country and tell them...having that conversation several times. She may last a week or a year, who knows? But the difference is that hospice only worries about comfort, not treatment. So we are ceasing treatments, and concentrating on comfort. In some way that assuages MY pain.

It has been a rough ride. I remember signing the DNR on my Dad and letting him go. This is what my Mom wants as well...I was smart enough to get that in writing before her first surgery several years ago.

So...off I go to get on with my day. Happy happy joy joy. Then I will have lunch with my brother, make the phone calls then head out to become my charming public persona by showtime.

Be well mi amigos...and tell your Mom you love her today.

It only takes one...

ferslIt only takes one...

Current mood:weird

Was having a pretty good night last night...kinda slow, but everyone that was there for the most part was there for me so I was feeling the love.

Miss Audrey on stage singing Def Leppard, me singing backup and trouble brewing on the horizon.

THE FAUX PAS: Customer bum rushes the stage and ATTEMPTS to grab my mic. I grab his wrist with one hand and mute the channel with the other, and ask him to go away. He resists, but is guided off the stage by me without incident.

I'll give a guy a pass on that...no hard feelings.

THE CONFRONTATION: He returns...during the song while I am still singing/working...and says "Hey man, when they had the fund raiser for you I donated and youre gonna treat me like that?"

I said "Thanks for your help, but your donation did not buy you a license to be an asshole".

He said "I'm not being an asshole". But I pointed out he bum rushed my stage earlier and he is now confronting me while I am attempting to sing with a customer...stopping me from working, so I again asked him to leave the stage. He fires back that I suck, and that he is a better backup singer than I ever will be. Again, I direct him off the stage. He had a few choice words and symbolic hand gestures for me. So I wait until Audrey finishes the song, then address the situation on the mic.

THE RESOLUTION: I announce on mic that I can be the nicest guy in the world but not to f with me without expecting repurcussions. Got the obligitory F you from my new friend, so on mic, sans music, I asked for Crystal, Russ and Pacey to have this person removed from the bar. I then went about my business when I saw them and a few concerned patrons head to this guys table.

THE INTERESTING TWIST: Guy at the bar asks me to reconsider my directive as asshole is a friend of his and he says he can keep him under control. I asked him where he was when he went out of control before and told him I would leave it up to the bartender...that I already did my job to keep the show on course. If they can control him I am cool with it...all I ask is to not be abused further. Crystal approches me onstage and has a sympathetic feeling for this guy because I guess they all know him in some way. So I ask who he is...I mean I am not above giving a pass for a friend of a friend. She tells me he is in one of the bands that play there on Sundays (Donny from Septic something or other...). Well this just tweaks my nips on a whole 'nuther level as he is a pro himself. So I go down to give him some perspective.

THE SECOND CONFRONTATION: I say to him, "hey man, I hear you are in a band. Suppose I come to your show and bum rush the stage and take your mic away, start screaming into and and when you try to take it back, I say f you, I am a better singer than you will ever be?" He acted like it would be no problem, which I scoffed at, but then he said he would probably tell me to f off or something. So I gave him the look and asked how HE would deal with it. He flexed his arm and made a muscle an told me to deal with that. He then invited me several times into the parking lot. I pointed to my crotch and told him he could deal with that..then walked away.

I suppose it would have made him happy with himself to clock a guy in recovery from a broken neck and with a slightly crippled arm (cant really throw a good right with the nerve damage...). I really felt a swing coming so I was getting geared up to duck then return volley quickly if I had to , but there were plenty of people standing near who had my back so walking away was the smart thing to do. When that adrenaline and testosterone start going though, you get those caveman thoughts. It is the evolved thing to be able to supress them. Score Evolved 1, assholes nothing.

THE RESOLUTION I went back and said, "look...you were wrong...your friends know it and as a pro you should know better...all I am looking for is an apology." He said he had an apology in the parking lot. Then he said he would apologize on one condition...that I come to one of his shows on Sunday night. I said that I worked on Sundays, so he said, "well then f*** you."

Cant argue with that logic. So, I again asked for him to be removed and he was. Kept right on going with out missing a beat, but I took some good natured ribbing about being a troublemaker on a Wednesday night.

And, how was your night?