I observed a few things about human nature this week, and it gave me cause and pause to reflect, and I thought I would jot a few observations here.
First, I will say, as an American, as advanced as we are socially, or that we think we are, we really are a repressed society. For all of our claims of freedom and freedoms of speech and what have you, compared to other civilized societies we are eons behind the times.
The censorships of nudity in public and broadcast, the negative stigmas of sexual conduct instilled by censorship and religion have all conspired to make the most natural things taboo in our society, and that is probably what contributes to messing up a lot of people in the head.
When you go to other countries, where nudity is accepted, nudity becomes no big thing, and accepted. When you are a young kid, the sight of bare breasts is an enormous coup. The more you see...the less of a thrill it becomes, and the stigma of taboo diminishes exponentially. Go spend 3 days at Mardi Gras. When you get there all you can do is stare at tits, tits, tits, but by the second day...ehhh...not so much. And that is just after one day or 2 of conditioning. Profanity...same thing, taboo, yet if it were not censored, it would become no big thing. Humans want what is kept from us. Very Pavlovian.
The impetus of my post is 2 fold...first, at one of my shows, I have a pretty large lesbian following. Not in your face, but when you see the "handsome" gals you know whats what. Two of the ladies were sharing a dance...and this is not a rare occurance. At my shows it is not unusual for 2 straight gals to dance...its all good, but this was obviously a lesbian couple who were involved. They were not kissing or behaving intimately, merely dancing. A group of guys at the bar in their 20s were looking on wide eyed and pointing and staring and really making a spectacle of the whole event. The dancers were not aware...but it made me think...how sheltered are these guys that in the year 2005 and being as old as they are that they still tittilated at the sight of lesbians in public? It made me think that I am probably lucky that I have been a little more immersed in gay culture than the average person, so it is no big deal to me. I have been in retail, and in the flower business, so my exposure to gays has been steady since I was 15.
Secondly...Brokeback Mountain. A movie being released that takes place in the 60s and explores a loving relationship between two men. It is the media darling of the talk circuit right now...the buzz du jour. It is amazing to hear the callers speak in homophobic terms about how they could never see this movie, and making comments that would appear that there is some responsibilty to be sodomized to see this movie. IT IS JUST A MOVIE, and it involves gay characters. Get over it...reality is, some people are gay...and why, in the year 2005 is this still shocking?
People...if you are getting hung up on what the person standing next to you is doing in the bedroom, youre priorities are skewed. Know people on the terms of what type of person they are, not on the basis of their gender or what gender they prefer. You will find your life enriched by persons you would not know otherwise. And in reality, gay, straight or any combo, if you REALLY knew what your neighbors were doing, or wishing to be doing, you would not be able to sleep at night, LOL!
I am straight, but personally my life is rife with role models from my youth who happened to be gay. Their gayness never got in the way of their ability to teach me lifes lessons. I also have many platonic friends who happen to be women. I am very close with many women whom I never have and never will sleep with, or desire in that manner. So why do guys have no problem mingling with a woman, yet feel that if a gay man approaches them it is going to involve sex? Do I fear that if I am alone with a woman I am going to have to have sex? No. And in relationships that involve mere friendship, why does the bedroom have to be a consideration? It does not. When it does, that is inappropriate, and when it does, then you address it. The person who offers an unwanted advance and continues after being spurned is wrong no matter what their affiliation.
Which brings me to this...IMMERSION. Big word...meaning to become immersed in something is to understand it more and not fear it. If all of a sudden nudity were accepted, it would become a non issue...but it is taboo so all of a sudden those who crave it are perverts. The gays are out there...always have been always will be. Try immersing yourself in a bit of the culture to understand it so that it is not so alien. Why are so many people afraid of gays? Is it a fear or is it social scorn...religious conviction..? What is the reason for your ire? Take a fag to lunch...get to know them without bringing up sex acts. Understand that they are just like you and me, separated only by their gender preference, and the culture that may go along with that. Understand that you have nothing to fear, and you cant be forced to be attracted to something you are not...so dont be afraid of being turned unless that is what you are secretly looking for anyway. Dont be uncomfortable watching a love story just because the two leads happen to be male.
My girlfriend is a fag hag from way back as well...and she has gay members of her family, and her family is religious and yet very accepting of them. It is easy for us to see the fine points in people without their sexual preference being an issue. Maybe it is time for all of society to get past that as well. You like what you are programmed to like...and if you are not programmed to be gay, you wont be. I am a big fan of the women...never consciously made that decision, just what puts the old lead in the pencil. I cant blame a woman for the same thing, LOL! I had been accused in the past of being on the other team (especially when they hear about being a flower broker, LOL) but I dont necessarily see that as an INSULT, more of a misunderstanding. If a gay man pays me a compliment or drops a fishing line, I will accept the compliment as flattery and correct them on my preference, without the desire to either harm them or f*** them, LOL! Same as I would from a woman... It is the year 2005 folks, come...evolve with me...
Take a fag to lunch.