On to the next adventure...

On to the next adventure...

Current mood:relieved

Did a wedding yesterday...packed up and was on the road home, an hour away, at 10 pm. Checked my messages and got a message from a friend in Ft Lauderdale (4 hrs away) who was trying to contact a mutual friend in Orlando. He said that he, and others in Ft Lauderdale had been attempting to contact this person and had not heard anything in a couple of weeks, either by email or phone. This piqued my curiousity as I had not gotten a response back to my leaving a message about my Mom. I tried calling his #s to no avail, so I called my friend in Lauderdale back and let him know I would check things out.

No way was I gonna be able to sleep, so I zipped to my house and picked up my Girlfriend, then drove 45 minutes to O-town. The house was dark and quiet and tight as a drum. I was hoping for a conspicuous sign, or a way to break in. I expected the kitties to greet me at the vertical blinds as they always do, but no sign of them. Shined the flashlight to see what I could, then knocked on the neighbors door.

1st neighbor had seen nothing, but pointed me in the direction of a neighbor of more observant nature. I went to that house and told the man who I was and why I was there, and he proceeded to quiz me to see how well I really knew my friend. I appreciated that...he had my buddies back, LOL! He told me he thought that he had gone back to Ft Lauderdale with his Mom. This was strange, since no one in FtLauderdale had heard from him.

Turns out, some medication he was on was not working for him, and he got sick and his mom and sis put him in a hospital in Lauderdale and he was back at his Moms and doing fine, but he had neglected to contact anyone. It was a relief to talk to him and share my adventure with him and get the scoop on what happened.

I had all of these scenarios in my head last night...finding a corpse, or calling the police to report him missing...see if he was in a hospital or jail, LOL! Anything is possible in my circle. Glad things were positive this time around.

So Much Going On...

So much going on!

Current mood:indescribable

Well, life does like to dole it out! Doing relatively well despite the current situations...

A day before my Mom passed, I was heading to work and my g/f called, out of breath. I thought maybe she had been in an accident, but she was just calling to tell me a huge part of the tree next door had crashed into my property, taking out the cable, phone and internet connections, and that the electricity was on at the time, but would be suspended as the power pole had broken in half as well. I told her who to call to get it handled and went on with my show. Could have been worse...

I love irony...so the ironic thing was...my car needs a repair and I have not been driving it, so it was parked in front of the house. That day, I got tired of looking at the debris from the golden raintree laying on top of it, so I drove it up the street to dust it off, then parked it next door on a whim. The whim paid off since the car did not get hit by the tree.

My fence did not fare so well...2 panels of my stockade fence are smashed, as well as another portion of my picket fence (which is succumbing to all manner of storms...there are only 2 panels left, LOL!)

I spent the next morning with my chainsaw (best birthday gift EVER) clearing my yard and driveway. The owner of the tree volunteered to replace my fence, so I am happy about that anyway.

Tuesday put things in perspective. Been dealing with that as a priority...trying to be the rock. Maintaining my show schedule...trying to stay in routine. My friends are the best...unbelievably supportive.

I made the arrangements with the cremation folks...they were great to work with. They come to the house and conduct the business so you are not burdened...which led to an interesting story...

My dogs are very protective. They bark when people or animals go by. They hear a knock and always alert. When Tiny sees all is well, she is cool, but Foster DEMANDS attention and seeks a new play partner. Even my brother who visits often is not exempt from this.

Don from the cremation place comes to the door and knocks and my house is silent. I invite him in and he sits on the couch...and the dogs come in with little fanfare. Tiny sniffs him then lays down. Foster crows a few times, demands a little attention the cools out and lays down. I have to leave the room for a moment and I come back and Foster is laying next to where Don is sitting on the couch. Those who know my dogs would find this strange...so strange I had to call Lori as soon as Don left to share. He must have some really good vibes. Made me feel a lot better about having him handle everything.

I felt bad for my Sister in Miami, as she did not get to see Mom before Don took care of her. She (mom) was taken to a refrigerated area to be held until all the paperwork is cleared for cremation. She will probably be cremated on Monday. We will have the ashes Tuesday or Wednesday.

I went to the cemetary today, but they were closed. I have to make arrangements to put my Moms ashes with my dads. I looked around to see who their neighbors were...(it is a crypt) and one of my closest friends parents are directly across from mine. I have to call him today to let him know that.

I am doing ok, but I think I have a virus or something...got some flu-like symptoms last night, and woke up shiverring in the middle of the night...and not processing food too well right now.

I am thinking of planning a trip to San Diego to visit my uncle, the last surviving member of my family of that generation. Once all is done and said...I may do that...as well as visit some friends on the left coast. Just depends on what happens here at home. Talked to him on the phone...he is one of my favorite relatives, and he is not getting any younger. He is now too old to travel, so I think it is incumbent on me to go see him...I think I would regret it if I didnt.

Guess that is enough for now...just feels good to type it out...cathartic. Tomorrow is another day...lots to do...and I am doing a wedding this weekend, gotta prepare for that.

Be well.

Florence Smith July 1, 1923 - Oct 11, 2005

Florence Smith July 1, 1923 - Oct 11, 2005

Current mood:melancholy

Well, Mom finally decided she had had enough. Good for her.

My Mom was not a whiner or complainer. She was a simple person of simple means. She never had a sick day in her life and if she did, she did not advertise it. She was the breadwinner for the household due to my fathers "disability". She was the person who kept the place running on a shoestring budget while placing all of our needs above hers. I never appreciated that until I got older and had my own responsibilities. That gave me a new respect for my Mom.

After my Dad passed on about 8 years ago, my Mom got a new lease on life. My Mom lived pretty much under my Dad's thumb...old school marriage vow bs. There were times when I wondered why she put up with it but she did. Sometimes I respect her for that, other times I resent her for not having a spine. It all works out in the end though, dont it?

My Mom was not rich or educated or worldly by any means. She worked in service positions most of her life and worked hard. She retired from the school board...she was the lunchlady for many years. When we came to Florida around 1968, I remember her working as a waitress at the drug store luncheonette at Eckerd Drugs. Then she scored the good job with benefits at the school board...working in various lunchrooms until landing a permanent spot at Ormond Junior High. School work being seasonal, she worked the concession stands at the old Jai Alai fronton...eventually increasing her responsibilties to working in the office there for the foodservice franchise which contracted to the parimutual industry. Both jobs were seasonal, but there were the overlap periods where she would have to leave for work at 6:30 am, get home 3 ish and get ready to go do the night job til midnight, then start all over again. But I never remember being hungry. She split seasons between Jai Alai and the Dog Track and eventually landed full time at the Dog Track after her retirement from the school board. She worked for Daytona Beach Kennel Club until her sickness caused her to leave.

I was the youngest...a change of life baby that crept up on her in her 42nd year. My sisters have kids that are older than me. Being the youngest has its trials. I was picked on a lot by other family members, and my Mom always supported me, even if it were in secret. She sensed my responsibilty and always gave me enough rope to hang myself, whereas my father discouraged me and told me how bad I was and discouraged me from taking any responsibilty. I think history has proven who was more correct in their assessments.

My mothers mobile home was in need of repair and the house next to mine became available, so I bought the house and moved my Mom in. She got to enjoy it for 6 months before her health got bad. She has never gotten recovered from her issues, and my brother and I have spent the last several years taking care of her welfare and needs. She may have been somewhat helpless, but was not suffering much once home.

As the hospital stays got more frequent, so did her suffering. She was getting to the point where her return home seemed unlikely unless she came to move in full time. We were resigning ourselves to have her admitted into the rehab facility permanently. This was what were were initiating before this last incident.

Each day seemed to be getting worse. After the last hospital visit the doctor suggested turning her over to hospice. This was a good move as the facility and the staff made sure she was as comfortable as possible at the end.

They called me to let me know she was having a bad day...then they called right back to let me know she was gone. I got there right afterwards and sat with her for about an hour and a half. I had my calls forwarded to my cell and when it would ring, I would answer quickly so as not to wake her. My brother got there after I left and he shared a similar feeling...he said he bumped the bed and looked to make sure he didnt wake her, LOL! I guess that is the conditioning of being in that environment for so long.

The home was good about letting her stay in her bed until my sister could make it over from Tampa. My sister in Miami was not as fortunate though...they could not hold her there that long as nature was doing what it does to people who are not living.

That was a tough day...but I bucked up and made it to work. Thought that would be better, to be out in public...

Today I completed all of the arrangements for her cremation and tightened up a few other loose ends. There is so much to do. Just feeling a little catharsis in typing what is on my mind.

After all is done and dusted, I want to try to get away for awhile to decompress. It has been a long road.

My Mother is very beloved by her immediate family and friends. She will be missed. I will miss her. She always had my back...I am proud to have had the opportunity to get hers.

Love ya ma.

Florence leaves a brother in San Diego, a daughter in Miami, a daughter in Tampa, a son in Astatula, 2 sons in Deland, a step daughter in Las Vegas, a step daughter in Minneapolis and many grandkids and great grandkids.

Follow Up to Follow Up

Follow up to follow up, LOL!

Was at work last night...there is a liquor store attached to the club but it was closed. A customer came up to get a package, but realized the store was closed...it was Donnie, the guy who gave me a hard time. I gave a polite wave and walked out into the parking lot.

He shook my hand and apologized...said he was so trashed he could not remember anything. He said his friends told him what he did and he felt bad. He said it was nothing personal, and that having me work in that town was special, and that if I were not a presence there, things would not be the same.

He seemed sincere...he came in and got his package from the bartender and handed me a beer on the way out...so I suppose we are all good.

Karma being the bitch she can be, he had a black eye...apparantly he got his ass kicked for reasons unknown to him, but he said karmically it was probably for being a dick to me. I will own that and accept his apology.

Karaoke Contests Suck

Current mood:discontent

I am not a big fan of karaoke contests. Karaoke, historically and philosophically, is not a competitive event. Karaoke is about the need to perform, to be accepted on that public level...about taking the chance to step onstage regardless of talent level and make the effort and receive acceptance regardless of talent. It is the effort that is lauded, and perhaps for 3 minutes and 49 seconds someone can forget their troubles.

My philosophy at my shows is to show a good time in a non competitive environment. Everyone is a winner, and everyone leaves feeling good about themselves.

That is not possible at a contest. Only the winners feel great, and there are always sore losers or those who feel something unfair occurred, and they, or someone else, was somehow cheated or robbed.

Most contests ARE unfair. You are at the whimsy of judges who may or may not be biased...you could bring the talent and maybe be chastised for your color, your gender, your sexual proclivity or preference, or maybe just for being unkown in a room full of regulars.

I resist any involvement in contests for that reason....

So...I find myself hosting a contest every Tuesday since April. Twenty five weeks later, we concluded it last night, and I aim to not see it revived.

We narrowed the field to 25 finalists...of which 13 attended to compete for a trip for 2 to the Atlantic Resort in the Bahamas. There were a lot of great singers, but some DEFINITE standouts.

After all was done and said, and the results were in, the winners were announced and the prizes were awarded...and immediately the complaints started.

Before the first place winner was even off the stage, 2 complaints in person and I saw one of the singers leaving angry with 2 other people. And when they go to the next show and complain about the contest, whose name will they use...the bar? No...it will be that goddamn Harryoke whose contest was rigged or unfair.

I dont need that karma...

I got on the mic and announced loudly that I do not pick the judges, or make the rules or score the talent, I am just the host and if there are any complaints or hard feelings to address them to the bar management and not me. I even put that in writing on the rule sheet as I want to distance myself from the negativity as much as possible.

But, whenever you send someone home as a loser, you are breeding negativity. I dont like losers at my show, they are all winners to me.

Just doing the math, the contest is actually detracting from my show. On Tuesdays I run a 25-30 singer rotation, and then they put a contest in which runs off some of my regular non competing singers. Most of the people competing would be there anyway, so it is not a dollar draw to the bar. Then the bar has to pony up for the cost of prizes...and they get badwill from the losers going elsewhere bad mouthing the show and their bar.

Lose lose situation in my eyes...and this is what I will be discussing with the management next week.

Whore that I am though, and loyal soldier, if they say to start a new contest, I will...but everyone will know how I feel in my heart about them.

Follow up to "It Only Takes One" :Update

Follow up to "It Only Takes One" :Update

Current mood:amused

The girl who was singing onstage the night of the incident I wrote about just sent me an email. Here is an excerpt:

OH! You're not gonna believe this!! Guess who I saw in Jacksonville?? That STUPID DRUNK from the other night!! He and his "talented" band, ****** **** ****, played at this Battle of the Bands thing. I only ended up there because my friends, Severed Existence, were entered in it and even though I HATE that kind of music, they ARE my friends so I figured I'd show my support! Anyway, I had JUST walked in the building when who do you think is the FIRST person I see?? He comes up to me and says, "Hey, remember me??" My first response was, "OH, PLEASE NO!! Don't tell me that YOUR band is playing tonight!!" Unfortunately they were and he apologized to me for being such a jerk. That's ok. I STILL thought he was a JERK and I made sure that he KNEW that I still thought that, too. He gave me "permission" to grab his mic if I wanted to. Referring to his obnoxious growling, I politely said, "No thanks, man,........I ate a coughdrop on the way here." He didn't think that was very funny so he walked away!! What made it even funnier is that MY friends were the band that WON! They won a 1000-hr recording session with the studio which was holding the contest!!

Just made me smile this morning, LOL! Have a great day, and hold your mic tight!

My Pony is getting away!

My Pony is getting away!

Current mood:complacent

Been seeing the coolest car parked in front of my house for a couple of days...a '70 Maverick. It looks like it was obviously owned by an elderly couple, probably a man since it has a CB, LOL! It is not in the condition many old people let their 70s cars get into (painting over rust, bad paint and touch ups...). This car may have been painted, but if so the paint job is easily 20 years or more old...still hardly any rust. All panels straight...no dents. Lotsa old man touches...a love bug screen neatly trimmed to the grill, trailer hitch, magnetic antenna for the CB. It has obviously been parked as it has a light coat of the lovely green patina of mildew so prevalent here in the south.

My curiousity got the best of me, because I could love this car. It is in the best condition you could imagine a daily driving 70 to be in. Indeed, it was part of an estate sale and they have a sale pending...for $700. My heart sank...if only I had known sooner. This is the car I would have wanted back in high school...when it would have been 11 years old. I would have loved to had this car in this condition THEN, let alone 25 years later.

I told them if the sale goes thru I would be right there, but I am not holding my breath...but I have to walk past the durn thing several times a day, and it is right outside of my picture window, LOL! My pony got away!!

Oh well... I got some pics to remember it by. Holler if you want to see one.