"Choke me in the shallow water...before I get too deep..."
I often give thought to the things that I do to occupy my time and to make a living. Often, those things are mutually exclusive. I am a small businessman who makes money as a DJ and Karaoke Host. I spend a lot of my free time working as a volunteer at managing and moderating different Facebook groups. Some groups are just local community groups based in historic content and relevant events and changes. Others are more based in historic memories and connecting people.
Sometimes it feels that being a karaoke host is trivial and meaningless. A lot depends on how the host/karaoke owner, handles their show and business. I am sure there are some hosts who see karaoke purely as a job, or profit center or a way for them to sing and be heard without thinking as deeply about it as I do...probably too much, HAHA! Some interpret what I do as useless, and as a negative because of the stigma of being in the bars, and the less than professional nature of many karaoke performances. Those who are not indoctrinated in the karaoke lifestyle would have a difficult time understanding it, but those who follow the lifestyle need no explanation.
When I am not feeling relevant, I often wonder what impact it would have if I just retired and stopped...or if I had never created the persona of Harryoke back in 1999. (I will be marking my 6000th show sometime in Feb/Mar 2022!) What if I stayed in management, or sales, or started a different business? I sometimes harken George Bailey in "It's A Wonderful Life" to see if Clarence can show me what things would be like if Harryoke had never come along.
Many people often thank me for doing what I do and tell me what an impact I have made during my time as a karaoke host. Sometimes I forget, or have a hard time seeing it. I give that thought, and I am thankful to have found such a niche in the entertainment industry, and society, to make some sort of impact, no matter how small or trivial.
This weekend I was given an opportunity to think even harder on it. I had an extraordinary weekend where I traveled a far distance north to perform a wedding, and the next day travelled a far distance south to attend a funeral.
I took stock of how many weddings I have been involved with; as an officiant, or just as a DJ, or even just an attendee, of people who I met through my Harryoke shows, or better yet who met at my shows, or through my social conduit. I look at the wedding guests and realize my connection to many of them. I look at how Harryoke was integral to guiding them to their path, and the path of their families, and now children. I look at how many friends, relationships and stories are born of one person finding my flock, and how that exponentially grows outward to so many.
On the other end of the spectrum, attending the funeral of my friend who passed last week. More Harryoke connection. He was an attendee of my shows very early on in my career, and he and his girlfriend, then fiancee, then wife were regulars. I was the DJ at their wedding. While looking at the guests at the celebration of life party, I was taking note that I was also the DJ at the weddings of 3 other people in attendance, and had some very close old friends based from Harryoke shows over the last 20 some odd years. Karaoke was a huge part of all of their social lives back then, and a social conduit for more than singing. Dating, coping, escaping... I reflected on other funerals I have both attended, and performed at, of people who I connected with as Harryoke, and the guests from the karaoke community who come and support the grieving family and friends.
Over the years, I have discovered that karaoke is very much like church. People join a church not only to praise, but for community fellowship and support. Church attendance often becomes a social ritual for connecting with people, making business alliances, romance, social activity, grief support, networking to fulfill needs, and friendship. The pastor is the manager of the social community. Karaoke works in the same way.
Most singers have their own reason for being at karaoke. Many attendees who I consider "regulars" are not even singers. They love the social aspect. I take the role of the managing pastor, and bring my weekly meetings to different venues, attended by a community who seek my outlet. Maybe they sing to find redemption in applause. Maybe they are ego driven to be seen. Maybe being on stage for 3 minutes lets them escape their problems and feel appreciated by those who applaud, or commend them for having the courage to get on stage. Maybe they just like being in the fun, musically driven and mostly non judgmental arena of karaoke. Their offering is their support of the venues who allow me to do my thing...their purchase of drinks and food that allow the venue to subsidize my appearance.
When I doubt the importance of what I do, I reflect on all of this. I try to think back on all the stories over the years. I realize then just how many lives have been touched.
Not only weddings and romance...the stories of fund raising, charity, grieving for those who die, rallying around those who are suffering. I know of stories where differences have been made in lives...lives spared from suicide, addiction, financial devastation, and just needing a push in the right direction, with the correct word, or meeting the right person to make things happen. The friends who stay connected socially using my shows as an outlet for family reunions and safe meeting places. Music is such a strong force in people, and as trivial as karaoke may seem to an outsider, it definitely has a way of nourishing a soul. Many people who lost the music over the years have found their voice at my show, and use that as an outlet to express themselves; an outlet that cannot be easily explained to outsiders.
Over and over. These stories come to mind with similar familiarity, from people of ALL walks of life. Poor, rich, young, old...
I too have been a recipient of the benefits of the karaoke community. Notably, back years ago when I had the horrific car crash and broke my neck. I was out of work for nearly 3 months. I came back way too soon, but the community looked out for me, did a fundraiser which helped bridge the income gap, and supported my return to work enthusiastically. Again during the COVID shut down, when my work evaporated, and the lifestyle was not permitted socially for some time. Several friends reached out to assist and to encourage and see what might need doing. A support system, in place. If ever I am in need, need guidance, advice, assistance, doors opened, tequila brought from Jerusalem, HAHA...all I have to do is say the word, and people reach out. I have amazing stories from over the years of how knowing karaoke people has rewarded me outside of karaoke, in the real world.
On the surface it seems trivial, but the stories that come to mind from over the years yield a level of importance that I could not have comprehended back in 1999 when I first started out. I used to be ashamed somewhat to admit I was a karaoke host to people outside of the lifestyle, as it seemed to be looked down upon. Now, I "get it" and am proud of what I do and see the importance of it. I look at the people I see, in person, online, and reflect on how I met them and what my relevance is to their lives. Many have moved away to different pastures and I still remain in touch with them, and consider them close friends. I even manage to impact lives from a great distance now and again, thanks to the internet.
The internet, and notably Facebook, has been great for me to do my history work, maintain my local history pages and network socially in the community by sharing memories, doing research and sharing that information, and my annual history walks around Daytona. Sometimes I think I am becoming more notorious for my Facebook work than my karaoke!! Lori and I were shopping in Port Orange recently and I was getting recognized more by FB group members than local karaoke attendees! The historic work is something that I get thanked for very often, as many people love the content they read at my groups and are thankful to have old cloudy memories clarified, and to have a place to share theirs, and importantly, to find and connect with old friends and lost loved ones. I see the importance of that. My biggest regret is that it is based at Facebook, and it that platform ever vanishes, so will years of searchable information.
IN CONCLUSION...
So my rambling and thinking out loud will cease now. In retrospect, the persona of Harryoke has opened more doors for me since 1999 than any job I think I could have possibly taken in its place. I am thankful for EVERYONE who participates and allows me to continue to make a living doing this "nonsense", and for all of you who have found your way into my social circle and allowed me into yours. My professional legacy in the future will likely be the memories of the stories made at my shows, the people and families whose paths I have touched and the memories I facilitate thru my voluntary Facebook group efforts. I think that is a pretty fair legacy compared to being the top salesperson somewhere or selling the most whatever, wherever. I am proud of what I do now, and of the importance that people place upon it. While I will never take myself too seriously, I will respect and value and understand the sanctity of the church of karaoke and continue to professionally cater to that flock. Here is to the next story...
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