The Illustrated Story Of Foster...A Good Boy. 2003 - 2014

Just wanted to put up a few words and memories of my buddy, my son... our dog, Foster.  Foster came to us around August of 2003, and left us in November 2014.  His life was a great one, and he gave as much as he took.  He was as unique in character as he was in appearance.  His story deserves to be told.  I have a ton of stories and memories, and could go on forever about him, but I think I will post a few pics that exemplify his life.  I have tons more pics than these...he was a frequent subject of my lens.  To his final days, I would still find myself staring at him, in awe of his markings and handsomeness.  

Foster came into our lives as a stray, abandoned puppy, at the Volusia Mall.  Lori was there and saw the puppy in the parking lot.  It is Lori's belief that the person abandoning the puppy was also there making sure that someone took it.  She took it back to work with her to figure out what to do.  Lori's sister took the dog home to care for it in the meantime until plans could be made, but since they already had dogs, keeping him was not in the plan.  We had Tiny at the time, and when Lori said that we would be fostering the pup for the weekend, I was apprehensive as to how that would work out.  I had no interest in training a puppy or figuring out how this was going to go over with my Tiny.  

We got him home and of course, everyone fell in love, including Tiny.  Tiny did a great job of taking on a motherly role for the little guy, and was very tolerant of his personality.  We had no idea what breed his was...thinking he was a mix of Labrador and Aussie Shepherd, based on his markings, eyes and webbed feet, coat, etc...  

   

He had a belly full of worms and needed some TLC, and we all rose to the challenge.  A big challenge was housebreaking.  We did not crate train, and of course accidents will happen.  I remember one episode that was particularly horrific, and I actually entertained the idea of giving up on the little guy...yes it was that bad.  BUT, right after that, we had a visit to the vets for shots and a check up, and miraculously, the accidents virtually stopped.  It was like a switch had been thrown, or like he picked up on how frustrated I was getting...and it just stopped. 

I had moved my Mom into the house next to ours, and she loved to visit with Tiny and the new Puppy.  We thought he was an Aussie, so we named him FOSTER, because he was our foster child, and Fosters is Australian for beer, HAHA!!

Thus began a great relationship between the two dogs, and us, that would only get stronger and better with time.  As my mother got sick, I would take both dogs to the assisted living facility and visit with her, and the other patients who liked dogs.  Foster has always been a rock star.  

We figured out that Foster was indeed a Catahoula, specifically a Blue Leopard Catahoula.  Most people have never heard of them, but after doing research, they are a great working breed with an interesting history.  Found a breeder in Oklahoma who had a stud that looked exactly like Foster.  He was definitely an exemplary specimen of the breed.  He also ran to the larger side of the breed, staying at about 95 lbs his entire adult life.  

He had a great talent of using his paws like hands.  He would reach out and grab things and bring them to his head.  He learned early to do this with water bottles, his favorite early toy of choice.  He would lay down and hold a water bottle with his paws, unscrew the cap, remove the plastic ring, then crunch the bottle flat and chew on it.  He was obsessed with water bottles.  One day on a walk, he found a tennis ball in a parking lot, and a new obsession was born.  He would also hold and bat a tennis ball with his hands.  When we would play catch in the living room, he would hold the ball in his paws and bat it to me.  
  

OK, he was an ok accountant too...at my Mom's house...poring over her books.  

There is also a ceramic dog around town that was made for a humane society fundraiser.  It was painted and dressed in biker gear and named Rosie Spokes.  Lori did the paintwork and used Foster as the template.  

He was such a unique dog.  When we would walk, people would stop their cars to ask what he was and if they could visit with him.  Foster generally liked people, was really great with kids, and smaller dogs.  I never would have dreamed I would have gotten him and a cat together after Tiny passed on.  

Foster and Yvette Mew Mew...who would have ever thought that he would accept a cat into the house...she accepted him from the get go.  

We never had to worry about him with the grandkids...his temperament was wonderful.  

Rex stayed with us for a little bit until we got him adopted.  He just showed up at the house one day.  Hopped in Lori's van like he owned it.  He was a catahoula as well.  

Foster took to often laying upside down on his back.  To the day he died it would always make me smile.  I always said out loud that I would NEVER get tired of coming home and finding him like that.  

  

Foster and Tiny were always regular fixtures at my bonfires as well, where they would mingle with the guests.  Foster would obnoxiously offer you a muddy tennis ball on your pant leg if you were lucky.  

I loved when my buddy would share bed space with me, especially on those lazier mornings.

There are a ton of things I will miss about him.  I loved when he would ride in the van or truck with me.  He loved to sit up on the front seat and observe and smell the world.  I loved our walks and adventures, and the people and dogs we would meet around the neighborhood.  I loved that he was in tune with me, and could pick up on my mood and avoid me when I was angry.  I loved the dopey look on his face with his tongue out just a bit.  It would always make me happy.  My favorite face.  

With that, I close my blog, in memory of Foster Smith.  Muh boy.  My son.  He would often hear me chanting "you da man" along our walks when he would do good on his obedience.   I did not speak to him like a dog.  I talked to him like a friend and he responded in kind.  If he had a speaking voice, he would have sounded like Tony The Tiger.  I would often taunt him by saying "theyre grrrrrrrrrreat" and he would bark back at me.  He had a unique style of saying "roooo roooo" as a puppy that continued into adult hood with that low deep voice of his.  I will miss him very much.  

As I said 10000 times walking into the house:  "Foster Smith...Foster motherf***** Smith...Mrs Smiths favorite son".  HAHA.  A paraphrased old line from the Richard Pryor movie Bustin Loose.  It always cracked Lori up that I would say that,.. but it was true.  Foster Smith was the man.  

That was my last pic with Foster.  Foster had great health overall.  He scared us years ago with a poisoning from eating lantana.  Figured that one out and he really had no issues.  As he got older he developed joint problems like big dogs do, and we got past that with a chondroitin regime.  

At the end, he developed symptoms of congestive heart failure (edema, anemia, etc...) and we began treatment with diuretics.  Over the course of a couple of days he was not getting better, and his kidneys seemed to shut down as he was not urinating.  He lost his ability to walk quickly and it was apparent his organs were failing him.  The blood work we had done on Monday did not show the obvious culprits, meaning it was a 90% chance that it was cancer.  We had removed malignant tumors from him back in February so that was on my mind this year anyway.  I am thankful he did not suffer a prolonged amount of time or totally lose his dignity and quality of life.  We got to the vet at just the right time.  Way too soon for me emotionally, but I know we did the right thing and that he was at peace with that too...he and I talked about it all the night before.

Foster (Foose, Fooey..Buuuud)  leaves behind many memories with those who loved him, all the kids that come to the house and the people and animals he encountered each week.  Life will not be the same without you boy.      

Good boy.  

Foster's Facebook Page    

CLICK to see The Story of Tiny

"When I Am Not At My Best In Public"...or "Keep Poking The Dog and Wonder Why He Barks" (ROTATION RANT) LOL

     Something I hear very often is "you are always smiling" or "you always seem to be in a good mood".  For the most part, generally, at work, this is very true.  I enjoy my job and the people who enable me to what I do for them.  Around 90-95% of the time there is nothing to cause me to deviate from that.  This blog entry is NOT about those times.  DON'T GET ME WRONG AS YOU READ THIS...I love my job and love my people BUT if you have seen me flustered or anxious or excitable on a busy night, here is your explanation.   I don't want anyone to take away from this read that I am frustrated, burned out or unhappy...that is NOT the case.  This is just the darker side of what I deal with at work.

     I generally try to be professional at work, pleasant to people and never rude or dismissive.  What I have found is that after a few hours of being treated poorly by a handful of folks, my attitude can disintegrate somewhat.  Some have seen me "lose my sh*t" at work by getting frustrated with folks that are not comprehending what it is that I do, why I do it, or are just unwilling to listen.  It is the latter that cause me the greatest frustration...the folks who just do not hear me when I take the time to answer a question or explain my answer.  

     Now, keep in mind, slow nights are easy!  A trained monkey can run a rotation on a slow night.  There is no guess work or science or interpretation.  It is the busy busy nights that the problems start; usually rotation related problems.  The hardest part of singing karaoke is waiting your turn.  The longer that wait, the more issues arrive, and the more potential for conflict.  As a host, the hardest part of my job, HANDS DOWN, is rotation management on a busy night.  WHAT IS BUSY?  For conversation, lets say I can do 12-15 singers an hour.  Fifteen singers means everyone sings once an hour.  That is kind of an easy night.  Double that, you look at a 2 hour wait for song 2, still not bad.  Beyond 25 singers or so is what I would call a busy night.  The more one builds on THAT number, the more problems you create.  When the number goes more toward 50, you are ENSURED of having drama.  Drama relates to rational people curious when their turn is, and irrational people who ask for things you CANNOT deliver then refuse to accept NO for an answer.

   The following are a few bullet points of the people and activities that set me off regularly on BUSY BUSY nights (keeping in mind the busier it gets, the greater percentage of the group that will become high maintenance, AND the longer the wait, the more low maintenance folks will become high maintenance:

* THE "WHEN AM I UP" FOLKS - "When am I up" is a fair question.  Once.  Maybe twice.  Beyond that they are becoming high maintenance.  If you are told you are 10 away, and come back to me after 2 singers, what do you think my answer will be?  If you said 8, you are rational...but should not have asked me.  LOL.  If I said 8 to you and you complained or disputed me, you have become my new problem.  

     The other problem with these folks is they wont take an approximate answer, it has to be exact, or I become the bad guy.  Sometimes it is so busy, I cannot answer exactly.  I tell them that, and offer an approximation.  Usually that works, but when I am not exact, there is always someone that will come up and complain to me, OR WORSE, stand in the audience telling everyone what an @$$hole I am for having such a long list and not getting them up soon enough.  

     The variables on a busy night are people who sign up and leave, people who do not hear their name because they ran upstairs or are out smoking, then return to find they missed their turn and are put back in.  Given that info, if you come to me on a busy night and I tell you that you are 10 away, and 5 of those folks are no shows, you are then 5 away.  You thought you had 40 minutes and went outside or upstairs, but I called you up in 20 minutes, you missed your turn and it's my fault.

     The other variable is the dance set on Thursdays.  It always starts at the same time, so that is not a variable.  I try to explain that to people, and they don't always get that.  They will come up at the start of the dance set and ask when they are up and I have no answer.  They insist on one, so I tell them, in theory, they are "x" amount of singers after the dance set, BUT that people generally leave during the dance set so that number is a worst case scenario.  Rational people "get" that.  The irrational ones become my problem.  

     Hosts may think I am whining about the "when am I up" folks,  but when you see that line of people at my table on a Thursday, they are all asking the same question, with individual drama attached to each answer.  There are times when I could not even tell you what song the last singer sang because I am so busy answering this question for folks.  

*THE "I HAVE BEEN IN THE ROTATION FOR AN HOUR OR MORE AND HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM SINGING" FOLKS - When the rotation is huge and people are breathing down your neck, as a host I am trying to keep things moving so that as many people that want to sing, can sing.  When you hear filler music, you know I am buying time.  When you see me looking straight ahead, fingers hovering over the keyboard with my ear to the singer awaiting instruction, you know now what I am doing.  The other side of this coin is the person who, in the middle of this night, asks me what I want to hear.  I can't think that hard, and generally refuse to, BECAUSE, if I do offer an answer, you will tell me "no, I don't think I am in the mood for THAT one..."  LOL.  Some not familiar with my show will say "don't you make them fill out slips?".  The answer is no, because experience shows that the singer in a long rotation will change their minds.  If you are a host that does not allow singers to change, you are not customer service oriented...and if you take the slips, you spend a large percentage of the night taking slips from singers who will change their mind anyway.  I have been slip free for years.  In the time it takes for them to ask me about a slip, they can give me their name and what song they want.  Save a tree. 

*THE "I HAVE TO LEAVE, BUMP ME UP SO I CAN LEAVE" FOLKS - That just works on NO level.  They always say "no one will notice" but someone always will.  My job is to put people in seats to put cash in the register.  That is the clientele I cater to.  I cant show favor to someone leaving OVER someone who is staying and will probably spend more.  Economics aside, it is just wiser to run a fair rotation and not juggle.  You will make your clientele angry.  Waiting 2 hours to sing is easier when the singer know everyone is waiting.  When a host shows favor to those leaving, it sends a horrible message.  

*THE "LET ME SING NEXT BECAUSE THESE SINGERS SUCK AND I AM BETTER THAN THEM" FOLKS.  - The fact that came out of your mouth explains why it is not going to happen, but I am sure you are going to stand here and argue with me about it.    

*THE "YOU SKIPPED ME, I HAVE BEEN WAITING AN HOUR AND THAT PERSON HAS SUNG THREE TIMES ALREADY" FOLKS -    Happens at every busy show.  My rotation is in ink, I will show it to you.  If you can show me the singer that sang three times and tell me the songs, I will give you $10,000.  It did not happen.  Yes you have been waiting an hour, it is a 2 hour wait to sing tonight, LOL.  

(NOTE, ALL THESE COMMENTS TO THE SINGERS MAY SOUND SNARKY, but I always start out polite and cordial, until they become argumentative or confrontational.)

*THE FOLKS WHO DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE WORD NO - Occasionally I get to a point in the night where new sign ups are impossible, and maybe some signed up will get bumped.  It is at the end of the night, when I legally have to shut down to close the venue...that is the time when it really gets ugly.  I explain that I cannot say past closing time, and people keep asking how I can do it.  Yelling at me wont accomplish that but they try.  They are shocked that I wont take their money.  Money cannot buy the impossible.  When something is impossible, I say no.  Somehow, they think I am not serious.  

*THE FOLKS WHO INTERRUPT YOU WHEN YOU ARE MULTITASKING -   The people who ask you questions or talk to you while on mic making announcements (because obviously it is a recording) or the people who see me running sound for a singer on stage, and dealing with a line of 2 or 3 singers with a question, and feel that coming in behind the singer and talking in my other ear is a great idea.  LOL.  Yes.  It happens...alll...the ...time.  The busier it is, the more it happens.  

*THE FOLKS WHO THINK A TIP IS A BRIBE or are otherwise generally ungracious -  I have seen people obviously offer me bribes...which I don't take.  The real aggravation is when someone drops a couple of bucks in the jar or buys you a drink, then later when you cant fulfill a demand for them they throw that in your face.  Yes that happens...even worse...it is no secret that I had a major accident back in 2004 and there was a fundraiser held to help keep my head above water.  People have come to my show, and asked for something I could not do, and told me how much money they supposedly donated to me at that time and acted frustrated about that.  And "I" am the ass in that scenario?

*THE FOLKS WHO BRIBE IN GENERAL - I think asking me to take a bribe to get up sooner, or again, is reasonable.  When it becomes unreasonable is when I refuse it and the briber begins bartering.  Look, keeping it FAIR for everyone keeps it fair for you.  If you offer me $10 to get up next and I take it, then what if the next person offers me $20 to get in front of you?  Exactly.  Keeping it fair means no hard feelings.  No need to bribe me to keep it fair, but IF you like the way I keep it fair I take tips, LOL. 

*THE FOLKS WHO OFFER/MAKE A BRIBE AND WON'T BACK IT UP - There are times when creative commerce can be done...such as after a show where the bar has not closed, someone wants to sing one more, etc...  Throw a $20 or so, I boot back up, you do a song and we are all happier.  THEN there are the folks who will offer a big bribe to entice you, and if you accept it they either talk you down or don't produce it.  They offer a 20 for you to do something, then ask if you will REALLY take a 10.  Here is a re post of a Face Book entry from last Tuesday:  Guy wants to sing, I explain that I have no time for new singers. He insists...  I explain I am past closing time and still have a list. He asks if I am sure, and I say yes. Back and forth continues, and I finally say I just have to stop explaining myself and say I am closed.  He says..."not even for $200 dollars?"   I lose it on the guy...in a respectful way.  Told him to show me the money...that I was sick and tired of people coming up and making offers to find out my moral state and not back it up.  I told him if he was just trying to determine if I was a whore or not that I would make it easy and say that if he put the 200 in my hand, I would knock the current singer off the mic and let him run the show to closing time but if he was not presenting the money to step off my stage because I was closed. Of course, no money changed hands...he sent another guy from the table up to see if HE could do better. Grr. LOL. Don't try me. LOL.

*THE FOLKS WHO CANT READ THE BOOK BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE THEIR GLASSES SO COME UP AND ASK WHAT SONGS YOU HAVE BY A CERTAIN ARTIST AND MAKE YOU READ THEM ALL TO THEM...OVER AND OVER - Which on a slow night is not a big deal.  But when it happens a lot on top of a busy night it becomes high maintenance.  THE WORST is when they ask for a certain song by a certain artist.  You pull it up on the computer and tell them NO, I DON'T HAVE THAT ONE unfortunately.  They then stare at your computer screen and say "are you sure?".  "Yes", I reply, looking again, trying alternative spellings...then they look at the screen a bit longer and look at me again and say..."so you still don't have it?".  "Yes, I continue to not have it."  They look at the screen again then say "yep, I would sure like to have sung that".  I say, "well I have not seen it available, but I know I don't have it".  They say I should get it.  I don't make this stuff up.  

*DRUNK FOLKS - While alcohol plays a role in some of the above scenarios, in between are people who are just plain drunk.   This is an exception to the rule 90% of the time.  We are not surrounded by imbeciles and drunks, by any means...don't think that is what I mean in this blog.  However, it does not take many drunks to make a high maintenance event, and my stories of dealing with them go on and on.  Just not here. 



There are many more scenarios, and many more stories...BUT, if you have been out on a busy night and seen me beating my head against the wall or pulling my hair out, be on the lookout for these folks mentioned in this blog, as well as others.  Feel free to comment and add your own observations and experience.  

Keep Singing...  Harry