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Saturday, January 6, 2007

Grrr...venting...

Grrr...venting...

Current mood:pissed off

In the 80s outside today on this blustery winter day. Have to run the air to dry the inside air as it is so humid.

My project today is to tear down my carports. I put them up about 9 years ago or so...and someone has recently gotten around to noticing them. They are not permanent type permittable structures, they are canvas canopies that remove easily for hurricanes, etc... that require no permit as they are deemed temporary.

I originally put them up when I bought this house to protect my very nicely restored Ford Galaxy 500. Leaves from all my trees kept falling on the new paint, and the rain or dew was causing staining from the leaves. I have since grown accustomed to getting into a cool shaded vehicle, and being able to have a car wash last indefinitely since the cars were protected from the elements and debris.

I went to the courthouse to get a permit, and the bureaucracy involved is amazing! I would have to have surveys done and engineering performed to attest to the rigidity of the structures in winds before they will even talk to me.

I had a 10 day window to remove the stuff or face a $1000 a day fine.

Now I have to either contact a contractor to have some permanently affixed to the house as an addition, if zoning allows, or have new temporary carports installed by a professional after submitting the engineering and having a new survey done. I had my property surveyed about 9 years ago, but the survey I take to zoning has to be less than 5 years old. I am sure the boundary has changed in the last 4 years.

Hey, its only money, right?

So as of today, my vehicles sit in the bright sun, exposed to the heat and rain and the leaves falling on the wet vehicles. Oh well.

Grr.

I thought maybe someone was picking on me personally, and that still may be so, but my neighbor has one in her backyard and they are after her too apparantly. Maybe they saw hers when mine were reported or vice versa. Who knows...I am sure they wont tell me who complained. But, we dont live in city limits, we live in the unincorporated county, so we are not held to the same high standards as "city folk". LOL. So, this action amazes me, as I see far more "podunk" activity around me going unnoticed.

I wonder if they will need to see a permit or wind engineering for my lawn furniture or garbage cans...they are far more deadly than my canopies, which had survived MANY storms and hurricanes with no trouble.

MORE BUREAUCRACY GONE WILD:

On a similar subject, those who know me well know this part of my life well...

To save money for several years, I bought a mobile home...in 1988 I believe. This served me well, with cheap lot rent, and modest living for a single bachelor workaholic who basically needed a crash pad. It was in a family trailer park, but they would send inspectors around to check out your lot and cite you for violations of their policies.

They had the nerve to cite me once for having an ugly truck...a nice old 64 Ford Fleetside I had that was a little rustic looking...had some primer spots etc... They asked me to avoid having unsightly vehicles on premise, LOL. (When I lived there, I had a lot of cars...up to 11 at once, but I never kept more than 3 at my house at a time...that is a subject for another Blog, LOL) This citation put the bad taste in my mouth with them...

I worked for a company that installed burglar alarms, so I put a yard sign in my yard showing I had a burgler alarm installed. They cited me for that, so I pulled out the bylaws and nowhere did it say they were not allowed, so I went to fight the power.

They could not show me the rule either, but cited the rule that if your house was for sale, the forsale sign had to be attached to the trailer, and not the yard. I told them I disagreed with their interpretation and they argued back. I asked about election signs and they agreed that was ok as they were temporary. I asked about lawn ornaments, and again, they conceded that they were not signs.

So off I went home to move my sign from the yard, to the side of the house, and I continued off to make another acquisition...PINK LAWN FLAMINGOS! I bordered my driveway, flowerbed and sidewalks with them. I nailed them up in my trees, and attached them to the side of my trailer. They were HIDEOUS and hilarious.

Not a word was said... ;c)

When they cited me for peeling paint, they were right, but it occured to me to paint the trailer like the Partridge family bus just for good measure.

The white trash in me wanted to acquire the front of a semi truck to attach to the front of the trailer and make it look like a semi truck! The cab would have been where my kitchen was, so I would have a comfy spot to have coffee, LOL! That was not covered in the rules either, LOL!

Oh well, that passed, and this too shall...just venting. I feel better.